April 25, 2008

Never Let Me Down

We are all here for a reason on a particular path You don't need a curriculum to know that you're apart of the math Cats think I'm delirious but I'm so damn serious That's why I expose my soul to the globe; the world I'm tryna make it better for these little boys and girls I'm not just another individual My spirit is a part of this that's why it's spiritual But I get my hymns from him So it's not me it's he that's lyrical I'm not a miracle, I'm a heaven sent instrument My rhythmatic regiment navigates melodic notes For your soul and your mental That's why I'm instrumental, vibrations is what I'm into Yeah I need my loot by rent day But that ain't what gives me the heart of Kunta Kinte I'm tryna give us us free like Sinke I can't stop, that's why I'm hot Determination, dedication, motivation I'm talking to you of my many inspirations When I say I can't let you or self down If I were on the highest cliff, on the highest riff And if you slipped off the side and clinched on to your life In my grip I would never ever let you down And when these words are found Let it be known that God's penmanship has been signed With a language called love That's why my breath is felt by the death And while my words are heard and confined to the ears of the blind I too dream in color and in rhyme So I guess I'm one of a kind in a full house Cuz whenever I open my heart, my soul or my mouth A touch of god reigns out - J. Ivy the truth!! Kanye West - Never Let Me Down feat. Jay-Z and J. Ivy

April 24, 2008

When Irony Met Karma

Today I left work with a headache and sore eyes. But as I watch Lost and The Office (the I've been watching "The Wire" lately joke was classic), I came to a realization. A few months back, while on IM with a very lovely friend(trying to get brownie points) I took a sarcastic comment out of context and took it to heart. I freaked out and proceed to call her dismissive and mean spirited. After reflecting on what and how it was said and the particular context, I realized I was wrong and apologized. From the moment I met her she had been nothing but the nicest to me, and it was unfair for me to accuse her of otherwise by taking a (bad) sarcastic joke out of context with no proof. It was not a good moment in Will history. So today, I'm on IM again with my friend I go on my "Judge My By Actions" speech and say somethings I commonly say, I'm a hypocrite and just because I may say something but doesn't mean that I mean it. My friend took it literally and to heart and accused me without really saying it of possibly not being truthful with her this entire time that I have known her based off of that. Which caused me to become upset. My words were taken without regard to context and then generalized. Those are lines I use to stress the importance of judging someone by their actions and the need for the greater good. And are true within the appropriate context. Especially from a person who preaches about avoiding generalizes, having different responses to different situations, and the greater good of things. But come on, to say I always say something when I mean another? That is a compulsive liar. As someone that prides themselves on telling it how it is, it hurts. I am not a compulsive liar. Especially since I have been nothing but honest with everyone and especially her more so than others. Plus there was no proof of the otherwise, either. I hope she one day is able to trust me again and understands that I am not a liar and it's kind of ridiculous to be someone who lies all the time and then admits to it. Wouldn't a compulsive liar lie about being a liar? Karma is a bitch, now I really know what she felt like to be attacked after having a few word taken the wrong way.

I’m cold, you already know...

It’s a little early, but I’m writing this because a particular someone doesn’t want to talk to me right now, because I guess because I am some type of liar. And against the better judgment of a friend that knows me of my tendency to eat beef and my need for everyone to see things my way. Anyway, I’m talk about me. Disclaimer needed. It’s no secret, I’m a…dare I say, it a great conversationalist (maybe all little cocky too, but I back it up). But what’s a one sided discussion? If we both agree it’s boring. So as Dan once put it, you have to ask the hard questions. I’m not going to keep asking why? why? Like a child. I’ll just take on the other side of the discussion, I don’t have to full hearted believe in it. It’s called playing devil’s advocate. It force people to actual be able to rationalize why they believe what they believe. And it help me understand both sides and either confirm or refute what I believe. I call it self learning. I can take the other side of a genocide debate, without being for genocide. But because in a discussion I say something in support of genocide does that make me a liar? I never killed anyone. At least anyone you know. Well maybe, no one physically (I know I’ve killed some self esteems before). So are people on the debate team liars too? Another thing I tend to do is brag and boasts. I call myself God’s gift all the time. But everyone that knows me know can be really humble too. Does that make me a liar too? Is it not possible for me to be humble and have high self esteem? I can’t have both? Even at different levels? I can say some really mean things but I dare you not to say I’m not a very nice caring person too. It’s just words, anyway. Remember, stick and stones? We do not live in a computer world of ones and zeros, true and false, black and white. I don’t know about yall, but my world is three dimensional, and in color. I am not simple, never claimed to be. Want to keep it simple, but I am not. Simplicity is goal to live by but not a reality. Sorry if I assume every intelligent person sees in color too. In this particular case I like to think the best of people. Actions speak louder than words. What is more powerful? A parent telling their kid not to touch the flame on the stove because is hot, or the parent taking the hand and putting it near the flame saying feel the heat, it’s hot don’t touch it? Which case is more effective? When a Politician promises to do something but doesn’t do it, do you keep voting them in to office because they keep saying they are going to do something? No, actions are what count. Is it wrong that I rather be judged by my actions? Can I be liberal and pro legalization without being a smoker? Am I allowed to hate and like guns? Is there no grays? Does everything have to be black and white? I do think they are cool and I like shooting them, but I also think they are dangerous and ruins lives. To box me into either or is insulting, I’m an intelligent creature. Let me be fresh to def and have color. That is real. That is the truth. I am complicated. Everything is not literal with me; there are shades and exceptions to the rules like anything else in life. I like to think that can I see from other perspectives, and I have 3d vision. The question is: how do you decipher what I really mean then? The easiest thing is just ask, I fucking love to talk about what I believe. I am proud of my beliefs. Or you can judge me by my actions. I do pride myself on speaking the truth and being honest. I don’t like to read but I read a lot. Both are true. I am not a black and white 2D drawing. I don’t like reading, I read a lot, like writing, but can’t write. 3D and in color! I am not simple, please don’t box or call me fake because I don’t fit in the cookie cutter. The important thing is to use your own head and make a decision on your own about me based on your experiences with me. No one has ever looked me in my eyes and has not been able to know how I feel. I’m told all the time, I’m really easy to read. My heart is easily read. It’s like a children’s book. I’m hot, you’ll learn, I wouldn’t touch me because my hand might burn. I’m cold, you already know, you can go by what you heard depending on what they told. I’m too little to hit, and I’m too big to forget, and I’m too wide to hold, I’m too thin to fold.

April 23, 2008

Ignorance is Bliss

"I have a confession to make. Remember that time I borrowed your car? Well I had this date and it ended up in the back seat. Sorry about the 'love juices.' I cleaned it up, though. I just thought I should tell you, since we are being honest." "Since we are being honest, I fucked your sister one summer." Ignorance is bliss "Oh that towel that you use to dry your hands with in my bathroom, I use that to dry my ass after a shower."

April 22, 2008

The Greater Good

I’ve been sad lately so I’ma try blogging again. Maybe it will cheer me up. Shout out to Miss Jackie Peppers. The greater good is the idea that the moral worth of an action is solely determined by its contribution to overall ability in maximizing happiness or pleasure as summed among all persons. I do believe in the greater good. Sacrifice one to save many. And if you are not factoring everyone involved in outcome then you are being selfish. The example that has been getting me in the most trouble during explaining is the married man at the party. There is this married guy, marriage is on the rocks but he loves his wife and kids… it’s just they are going through a rough patch. Say this married man is a party he gets really drunk and kisses another woman. Nothing more. He knows it was a mistake. The question does he tell his wife? And there is no way he would get caught or told on. Does he voluntarily tell his wife? I am all for honesty. If she asks him, he should tell her. But he should voluntarily run and tell his wife. Why? What possible good would come out it? He can say he’s on honest man and tells the truth? Really it’s to clear his conscious. The marriage on the rocks, why help push it over, if you want to keep it? If his is really sorry he could make up for it in other ways, like seek marriage counseling, stop going out, or be a better husband and father. The main reason he would tell is to help relieve his conscious. Because him telling her doesn’t do her or the family any favors, odds are it would have a very negative effect. I’m not saying he should lie, but you don’t tell on yourself either. I had two good examples late week at lunch; let me see if I can remember one. Say a man committed a murder, should he tell someone? Why? It puts the other person in a negative situation. Do they keep the secret and be an accessory to a murder or snitch and tell the police? The greater good is the man deals with it himself; don’t put someone else at risk and cause mental stress on them. Hypothetical questions are easy when they are hypothetical’s. But when faced with a real situation things change. Anyway, I wish I would follow my own advice….the greater good.