Bad Boy 4 Life

In current pop culture news, it looks like rapper Shyne will be deported after being released from prison.  If you don’t who the guy is, you probable not a Bad Boy Music Label fan, any time in the last 12-13 years.  Shyne was a young promising rapper from the streets of NY that sounded a lot like Notorious BIG, Biggie.  *Dateline, Signal the Musical Child Predator* Puff Daddy, Puffy, P-Diddy, Diddy, Sean Combs the music business tycoon behind one of the greatest rapper of all time B.I.G. got wind of a guy sounding like Biggie and signed him under his music label, Bad Boy.  Puff took him under his wing like he does most of his young artist to groom his career.

At this time Puff was the luckiest dude in America, more than the President, he was dating and hopefully tapping (can’t assume he’s not a Decepticon) the most famous booty in America, Jennifer Lopez.  So one night they go to a night club and NYC and of course shots are fired.  Someone was hurt, Puff and Latin Booty flee the scene.  Scandal.  Puff and his Biggie Pokémon are arrested.  Police say Puff and Shyne both pulled guns in a “dispute” after a person disrespectfully threw money at Big Daddy Dollars Mr. Combs.  Shyne’s dumb ass fired and shot someone in the face.  Puff’s driver says Diddy tried to bribe him in to taking his gun.  The same driver who later takes Puff Daddy to civil court and gets a settlement (for you Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson people ;-) means he was guilty, right???). 

Here’s where my opinion comes in.  They both get the same charges against them but like a smart guy, Puff ( the rich guy of the two ) get another lawyer.  He buys the greatest lawyer on earth, at the time, Johnny L. Cochran Jr.  I would too, if I had the money.  And Shyne was left to fend for himself in court.  I would of thrown Shyne some money for a lawyer upgrade, that’s a rich me.  Smart for Puff but it may not be the most loyal (street) thing to do either.  Even drug king pins give their best guys and friends money and access to their favorite lawyers, if only so the don’t snitch.  But Diddy is too pretty to go to jail, and not a “street” dude.  I thought he did Shyne kind of dirty in saving his own ass.  I mean, one, you are the rich one of the two.  Two, you supposedly took the guy under your wing and befriended him to the point of loyalty.  Also most like a father figure to that young man.  Finally, the guy got in trouble defending you!  Sure it was a dumb way of doing it, but not like you wasn’t involved in it too.

Shyne being the stand up guy (and street) that he is, he didn’t turn on Diddy.  He plead guilty and didn’t testify against Combs.  Of course, Diddy beat the case with his super lawyer.  One juror actually said Diddy was guilty but the prosecution couldn’t prove it’s case.  Why wouldn’t that work for Shyne too?  He was up for the same charges, was standing right beside each other???

Was Shyne guilty, yes.  And so was Diddy.  The people outside the courthouse protesting and claiming his innocents are retarded.  They didn’t know he was innocent, they just like the guy.  He’s popular, that’s all they know, and like his music.  They don’t know him personally.  Most of the people that was on his label don’t think nicely of him.  A real friend or someone who cares about you will tell you when you are wrong and not just overlook it. And fans will not.

I do like when people beat the justice system designed to work against them, but it doesn’t change the fact they were wrong.  It is also troubling that the justice system is not the same for someone with money verses someone without.  Now the poor kid from the streets, Shyne was not a US citizen.  He carried a green card.  He been in the country since early teens.  Typical immigrant story of a poor family saving up to bring the rest over to America for a better life.  It’s sad the family dream was almost greatly achieved with Shyne getting a record deal and famous mentor (who brought the world one of the greatest rappers of all time) then only seeing it being locked away or put on hold.  Shyne could still be a great rapper and make millions, but the problem is - he is not a citizen and committed a felony, he must go.  Seriously, I am all for this law!  We should not have criminals as a US import, we have enough home grown ones.  But is Shyne special, should he be allowed to stay, because people “like” him?  No.  He is in fact no different from any ol’ Hector.

I commend the guy for being tough through prison (and not snitching when he easily could taken down the music mogul) and I think he is a good/alright rapper but just winning a popularity contest is not enough in my book to be above the law.  Also, he is a rapper and well known, he has a much better chance at a fulfilling life overseas than some poor knucklehead with no education does.  He doesn’t NEED to live here, would just LIKE to.  He can still make music, shit the internet don’t care what country you are in.  Shyne is just a victim of stupidity, idol worshiping, and Diddiness.  For that, I feel bad for him.  I’m sorry he was a talented guy that crossed paths with Puff Daddy.  I think Puff should of had him take the Nationalization test while he had him under his wing too.  I mean he grew up here, why not?! 

I also feel sorry for the families that were hurt in the shooting.  For that reason, Shyne doesn’t not get a free pass.  He hurt people.  Those families should not have to see him and Diddy grinning and hopping down the street of NYC on a shopping spree (Not that they ever would, Shyne hates Diddy now).  Shyne should put a hit out on Diddy for ruining his life, since he can’t come back to America anyway…just a thought.

I think we all can learn a lesson from Shyne’s story.  Want to support him, then buy his music on itunes when it comes out so he can make money still –and pay back the civil suit he lost to the families that were hurt in the shooting.  Just please don’t argue he is innocent or should stay here because he is not and shouldn’t stay.  We have enough popular “bad boys” already.

Biggay

Until I finish my video and write up on my inauguration experience, I'm give you a peek in to my "chattiness." A cut and paste job of an email conversation of why I don't want to the new Notorious movie about the Notorious B.I.G. Please forgive the poor grammar, writing Nazis...


Will:
Did you really like the Biggie movie? It feels so wrong.

Insana:
LOL it was entertaining, and it really didn't make me roll my eyes. Did you see it? What I would have been most interested in, which was absent from the movie, was a sense of where Biggie's confidence in his music came from. He seemed like a happy-go-lucky dude, very cheesy, and then he would start rapping and he was a different person. Where did that character come from?

Will:
I haven't seen it. I'm in full protest mode of that movie. I don't see how it could be done correctly so soon and by his mother. It's not like a history channel movie or even Malcolm X for that matter. it's a fan film. I think of it like this...I wouldn't want my mother making a movie about my life, not that it would portray me in a bad light but quite the opposite. Look at the cast, Angela Basset as the mom, you know mom had a big part in that! Really, really surprised Diddy didn't play himself. Then the dialog and story. I really feel apprehensive about the quality, in regards to the writing, acting, and truthfulness compared to entertainment value. And basically, I have an opinion and feeling about BIG already, I don't want some fan movie tainting it with look- and not so much, lookalikes and their words. sorry for the rant.

Insana:
LOL you don't have to apologize about ranting! What is your opinion of Biggie now? Actually you're right, she was the biggest actor in the movie (and did a bad job, and I really like her!) But if she didn't make the movie, who would?

Will:
oliver stone or spike lee, maybe?

not your momma or master p. Tupac's momma knew better. she will never let that shit happen while she is still alive. or get a white guy, not to be wrong, like American Gangster (which had top notch stars except T.I.).

Insana:
But if one of those did it, where would they get all of their information from? The production and direction really wasn't as bad as you think (which I'm assuming you would believe would be vastly improved by directors like those) and the movie wasn't nearly as disjointed as I thought it would be (like Cadillac Records was)

[Please reply to *******@gmail.com, I'm breaking up with Yahoo Mail today]

Will:
aww what happened? the Nigerians??? they got my yahoo mail on lock. ...if I ever catch one of them I'm going beating the shit out of them.

To me it like BET doing a made for tv movie on Malcolm X instead of Spike Lee with a credible author. I hold BIG in high regards in the sense if you have to and I mean HAVE TO make a drama out of his life, you make it Oscar worthy. I rather have someone that knows nothing about BIG spend some years researching him than someone going off a tainted memory(either of love or hate) retelling his story to the world. remember the majority of the audience may not have grew up with BIG or was that much into him, that's why it's important to do it right like said a Malcolm X movie.

Insana:
I know what you mean, in fact I agree, but see the movie first! Everything I thought about him was shown on screen, and I wasn't surprised by anything at all. That being said, maybe I should have been, because I can't even remember magazine articles I read about him, or a book, or a bio or anything, so why did I already know everything? Is that even a good thing? Did I get it all from allhiphop? Were all the rumors true? Was this movie based on rumor only??

Will:
I'm way too bias to see it now, I would be critical of everything from words to look and timeline. I don't think it is so much about the facts as is the image that I have of BIG personally. Maybe if I wasn't comfortable about my personally feelings and knowledge on the man I would watch it. but it's like the George Bush movie to me, too soon, half assed, and very bias.

Insana:
Did you see that movie, W? How was it? I am critical of everything, however, I don't really have a specific outlook on Biggie's persona like you do, so I can see what you're saying, definitely. Maybe you'd appreciate the real footage of the funeral procession through Brooklyn at the end? They kinda hoked that up though.

Will:
No I didn't see W either. did more than a handful? mostly bush haters and people who wanted to hate on oliver stone and the movie. It was took soon and emotionally guided movie. emotionally in the how it was made. instead of a fluff piece I am assuming the BIG movie is, it's a hate movie, based on bitterness. Usually if I make a stand against something I don't give in, I'm stubborn like that. But also if folks came backing say the BIG movie was awesome, movie of the year, etc..etc... I would admit to prejudging and give it a chance, but I haven't heard otherwise that would have me question my initial concerns. The sad thing to me it that I don't think anyone else will now try to do a BIG movie down the line. I think 10 years from now, about 23 years from his death, some top studio and director would have taken up the project to retell his story to a generation, and they would be force to do proper research and appeal to an global audience like the Johnny Cash and Ray Charles movies. I think they ruined that chance my making a movie too soon. so I'm a little bitter about that.

I really should steal this interaction for my blog...good subject matter.

Insana:
Hey, fine with me! Maybe I should have been more eloquent about it!

Big's movie was fluff, I can say, only because I didn't learn anything new, which is something that wouldn't have occurred to me unless we had this conversation. But aren't you curious???????

Will:
uhh no not really. and didn't curiosity kill that poor cat?

Eloquent?!? whatever, you were engaging and you made me think and vocalize my thoughts and feelings. that's what counts, Katie.

eloquent and my blog don't go together, anyway, it's as awkward as couple that looks like they can be siblings dating. That's why I need an editor, plus the bad spelling, poor grammar and word usage. Plus, I only have a handful of readers anyway.

I got a MySpace Page Now

I fought it long enough, I finally created a MySpace page. I had to get one in order to get full access to some music info. The addess is http://www1.myspace.com/willwash. Also, any girls still in high school don't even look at my page. I don't want no trouble.

Cellphones

This is the first of many posts to be written by someone else. The post is done by my friend Chalmer. We see eye to eye on a lot of subjects and have a similar sense of humor so the quality of the posts should not change. Support my boy while I’m gone.

Cellphones

Here is my problem with them and yes I do own one if that is a concern of yours. Why do people act as if go out and do not bring one with you their must be something wrong with you. These things are not what rules your life and also as a friend states a part of your life. They are cellphones.

Cellphones is the topic and I know this topic is old and that there are enough topics about them but I am going to talk about them anyway.

Cellphones does have pluses. It can serve as a tracking device and it can help out in emergencies. Cellphones can be used in court to help out in your defense on a case against you. Cellphone conversations recorded and subpoenaed by federal courts in federal cases can get you off on a charge. it can be used as a location device to find individuals or to meet people at certain locations.

Cellphone negatives. Cellphones can be used as a tracking device. For those players, pimps, rollers, hoes, bitches, cheaters, fuck buddies, skanks, friends on the side, crazy ex-boyfriends and girlfriends, baby daddies and mommies, Tyrone, or Shanekas out there this is not good for you. They either call at the wrong time or your true mate starts to question who is calling you when the phone goes off around them. Or if your you are hanging with one of these individuals and your mate calls you either one of these individuals will blow up your spot or you do not answer the phone and that leads to more questions from your mate which leads to more lies and more drama etc.

For emergency - If I am in a bad car accident does any one think that am really going to reach for my cellphone to give them a call. Hell no. I am going to try to either sit still or try to get out by any means necessary rather than making a cellphone call. Look let me explain it to you. I call some one saying, " I got into a accident, I am dying, pleaseee help." What the fuck is the first thing they are going to do... You got it ask you a question, nigger I am dying. Instead of saying save your strength and not talk so you can actually live through this they want to asks you 101 questions and then you end up dying answering all their questions. This is not help!

If you are doing a crime I hope that your are not using a cellphone to discuss the details of that crime or soon to be crime. Otherwise, you are a dumb ass that deserves to get caught. Also, if you are around another individuals that has a cellphone they can hit this devilish little button that can record your conversations which can be used against you. So, please watch what you say around individuals, cause they can be setting you up. Camera phone is a subject i will not even get into because that can be a subject all on it own with crime. If you are doing crimes it is safe to say it is better to stay clear away from cellphones. Just a little advice.

Next, up I know many people will feel me on this one. But I know their will be haters or buttpimples to say the least that will say that they are excellent at driving and talking on the cellphones at the same time. But I am here to say your not. Cellphone drivers are almost as bad if not worst then Asian women drivers, old black men, bimbo drivers, epileptic drivers, and the too old to drive about to kill everyone on the street drivers. These people on cellphone cut you off drive down one way streets, speed while having these intense conversations, not caring about anyone but their conversations on the phone. They cross solid lines, run stop signs, red lights, drive extra slow, do not care about weather conditions, loose control of their vehicles trying to get their dropped cell phones, and the list can go on and on. Yet, people still think that they are great drivers using their cellphones. When you paying attention to other things your reaction time is slower, dumb ass. I know I speed and that is probably a understatement but I do not talk on the phone when I drive. If I do it is usually a 1-2 minute conversation.

Next is the status cellphone users as I will refer to them. These are the people that thinks that if they get a lot of calls on your cell phone that somehow makes them popular, the shit or whatever that means. No, that does not make you popular it makes you a mindless, rude, motherfucker. If your out hanging with your so called friends, and most of the time your on the phone, are you really hanging with your friends. Because if I was one of your so called friends I will tell you maybe you should be out with that or those people your talking to because obviously we are not fun to hang with. Which in fact they will probably would say, "your not as popular or fun or have a rack of bitches or dudes tring to be with you, so your hating on them." My answer is no. I keep my women in check, so they know not to blow up my phone or they actually have lives and have things to do.

Black Sci-Fi

I love movies. I got a decent DVD collection. One thing I have noticed is that there are no Black sci-fi movies or shows. I happen to like sci-fi shit. I watched Firefly and Star Trek- the first two only, the rest were garbage. Oh shit, I hear the Trekie fanboys keyboards going now with hate mail. I know what the corporations are saying, Black people don’t watch sci-fi and that why UPN and BET don’t have any sci-fi shows. So what. I know Black people don’t watch sci-fi in masses. Ever seen a Trek convention or a Star Wars convention? The black faces are few in between. But I know Black people love Star Wars, go Lando! Maybe Black people don’t go crazy for Sci-Fi shows because there are no shows specifically for them.

I propose a sci-fi show for the Black audience. It will take place in the not too distant in the urban environment. It will star a cool ass captain. Much cooler than Kirk, that’s for sure. They wouldn't even call him captain; they’ll call him War chief. I’ll have someone like Sam Jackson play it. War Chief would have his crew fight hi-tech enemies and solving stupid mysteries. They would communicate with the Nextel-Sprite phone cause nigga’s love the sci-fi sound of the Nextel chirp. For eye candy, his second in charge will be fine looking sister that will keep bammas tuning in because of her good looks and stylish outfit. She’ll be sister with style and attitude. Rounding off the crew would be two knuckleheads. They can be played by Mike Epps and Kat Williams, the Wayans Brothers, or youngins funny like that. They would solve paternity tests using sci-fi technology, like DNA tests and lie detector tests. Because, evidently that technology is still new and space age to the brothers caught up on the Maury Show. The spaceship would be pimped out flip down computer screens, leather seat, and chrome lining. The action will be gangsterist with attitudes and guns. I know it’s not a word but that how it will be, gangsterist. The good guys will be the bad guys. They rob, steal, sell, and smuggle under the nose of the big ruling empire/government. Shoot it like a music video and I would watch that shit.

The Game's Stop Snitchin' Stop Lyin' DVD Review

Ok like I promised, I seen The Game’s DVD. I’m going to help you all out and tell you not to buy it unless you are either The Game’s Mother and one of his other relatives or a serious fanboy of The Game; also known as a dick rider. Before I start receiving hate mail from the sack lovers, like I did after my Diddy comments, I’m not a 50 Cent super fan and I am not hating on The Game. I hating on the DVD. It was garbage. As an expert of making garbage home videos, and my shit on a $500 camcorder with no production value puts his shit to shame. While watching it I was reminded of Jack Nicholson’s performance in the Shining. The Stop Snitchin' Stop Lyin' DVD was the ramblings of a mad man into a camera and nothing more. He was walking around the house talking about how he dislikes 50 and G-unit. Then he walks around town talking about how he dislikes 50 and G-unit. After that he walks around New York talking about how he dislikes 50 and G-unit. Boring. The whole time I was thinking how long is this piece of shit. The climax was that he drive by 50’s house. That’s it. He just drives by the house. Nothing happens. A drive-by camcordering. And 50 lives in a estate mansion. So you can’t even see the house, you just get the gate. The best part was him getting followed by the hip hop police and getting arrested in a weak ass North Carolina mall while talking about how much he dislike 50 and G-unit. They needed a follow up piece on that. That was the only part interesting me. I wanna know what the charges were and if he took legal action against the NC police for arresting him for no reason other than walking around talking about how he dislikes 50 and G-unit. But the DVD had to be gangster with him posting bail with cash and continuing on his way walking and talking about how he dislikes 50 and G-unit. If he is making money off this DVD then I’m hating because my home videos are so much more interesting. By the way, there are no facts presented in the DVD that could better sice the 50 cent – Game beef. It’s just mad ramblings about who is a bitch and shit. Apparently, a homeless dude in L.A. says he knew Olivia when she was a man. People save your money or use it to buy The Game’s Stop Snitchin' Stop Lyin' Mixtape. The mixtape is the complete opposite of the DVD. I call it a mixtape because in order to be the soundtrack, the music needs to be in the video but it’s not. The Game couldn’t clear any of his hits for the DVD. It was so low budget. The Mixtape is pretty good. The hatred runs deep on it. I love diss records and this is full of them. My favorite disses are from Charli Baltimore, the newest member of Game’s Black Wall Street. She gets at 50 and Irv while adding creditability to Cam’ron statements that Hova be lovin’*.

*Lovin’ is a slang term used in the Washington, DC Area in reference to people that go that extra mile and “be loving” the hoes and/or the strippers. Also used in reference to dudes that go above and beyond to handcuff and smother females. They are lovers.

Will Wash Dictionary

It has been pointed out to me that I write like I talk and all types of people read this site and they may not talk like I me and may not understand my slang. So I have the Will Wash Dictionary. I am from the Washington, DC area so many people for that area will know it, but there is occasionally phases that are used in my inner circle of friends. As I run across words, terms, or phase that a normal person may not clearly understand I will add it.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-I-J-K-L-M-N-O-P-Q-R-S-T-U-V-W-X-Y-Z

A


B

Bamma
1. A person who is not very trendy, whether it be fashion or music: "Ugh! Look at his shape-up...and his beat-up Pro Wings. He`s such a bamma."
2. A wack person.
General Washington, DC Area slang.

Beat your feet
1. A DC Area GoGo dance.
2. To run really hard. "Soon as he heard the siren, he was beating his feet."

Blown
To be very upset/disappointed. General Washington, DC Area slang.

Boosted
To be excited, proud: "He was so boosted when he found out he got an A on his history test." General Washington, DC Area slang.

Billy
Susie
Becky
References to White people who name is unknown. Cambridge Hall, UMD slang


C

Carry
To disrespect someone: "Jimmy tried to holla at Crystal, but she carried him by walking away" General Washington, DC Area slang.


D

A dick rider
A nut hugger
A sack lover
A fucking fanboy groupie of a particular individual. You are exhibiting dick rider behavior if I say something like this to you, “He ain’t Jesus, get off his dick!” or “Wipe your chin.”


E


F

Fanboy
Fanboy is a term used to describe a male who is utterly devoted to a single subject or hobby, often to the point where it is considered an obsession.

Fresh
New or very clean. “He keeps his Air Force Ones tight”


G

Get at ‘em
To challenge someone with full intentions of winning. “When it comes to rapping I think I can get at him lyrically.”

Go Hard
To out perform. To be tough. "They couldn't stop us, we go hard."


H

Holla
To talk to. “Let me holla at ya.”

Hot
Action(s) that could lead to someone getting in trouble. “Every time we go get some new shit, Tyrone be acting real hot.” General Washington, DC Area slang.


I


J

Ja
kinda/sorta or very, depending on emphasis: "She is ja phat" General Washington, DC Area slang.

Joning
Making fun of another person: "Did u see that dude`s shape-up? They was joning at the lunch table all period." General Washington, DC Area slang.

Jose
Julio
References to Latino people who name is unknown. Cambridge Hall, UMD slang


K


L

Loose lips
Unable to control what they say. Either has a problem of talking just to be talking or says thing without concern of consequences. “I’m warning you before you come over, my grandma can be rude, her lips are real loose.” General Washington, DC Area slang.

Lover
Lovin’ is a slang term used in the Washington, DC Area in reference to people that go that extra mile and wife the hoes and/or the strippers. Also used in reference to dudes that go above like excessive sweet-talking for nothing and going above beyond to handcuff and smother females. They are lovers and the opposite of pimps. “I seen what he wrote on her page, he be facebook lovin’.”

Lunchin’
joking around, acting foolishly: "During my free periods, we just be walking around or straight lunching, cuz we be bored" General Washington, DC Area slang.


M

A mud muck
A musk rat
A monster
A butt ugly person.


N


O


P

Pressed
to be annoying, conceited: "He was so pressed to show everyone he got an A; he gets on my nerves" General Washington, DC Area slang.

Punish
to dispense with readily, to handle easily; deals with sexual intercourse when used in reference to girls General Washington, DC Area slang.


Q


R


S

Savin'
To handcuff a female. To rescue a prostitute or stripper from their lifestyle. To save for one's self. "I can't take my cousin to the stripe club cause he be trying to save them. Talking about, 'Girl, why doing this?'" See Project Pat's song: "Don't Save Her" Special Note: Most hoes don't wanna be saved and you can't turn a ho into a house wife.

Short
unfortunate: "I can`t give u a ride, young. Either ask Chris or u short" General Washington, DC Area slang.

Sice
to over exaggerate: “Tamika not even that tight Isaac Ji Siced her. General Washington, DC Area slang.

Siced
to be excited, proud: "He was so siced when he found out he got an A on his history test" General Washington, DC Area slang.

Slumped
Put to Sleep
To get physically knocked out. “Big Cuz got slumped!”

Steal
to punch, assault someone: "Young, if u dont get out my face, Ima steal u slam in ur jaw" “Jimmy said something about Barron’s mom, he got stole off the top. You know Barron don’t play.” General Washington, DC Area slang.


T

Tight
A good thing. “That movie was tight.” “Is she tight?” General Washington, DC Area slang.

Tip Drill
Butterface
A woman who is only attractive from the neck down.

Tyrone
Sheneneh
Laqisha
References to Black people who name is unknown. Cambridge Hall, UMD slang


U


V


W

Wack
unfavorable, uncool, unpoplar or very loser-like.
1. "What is with this wack-ass grade you gave me? i got all the right answers and you still gave me a 'D', man"
2. "Do you know how wack you look right now? If I ever see you wear those highwater jeans and small-ass t-shirt again....."

Wrap Up
To get pressed out someone. "Don't wrap me up."


X


Y

Young
Joe
Dude
Cuz/Cousin
equivalent to "son" or "kid" in NY; similar to "yo" also: "Young, Im sick of school" or "Chill out, joe. It aint even that serious"




Z

Peter Jackson's King Kong

Peter Jackson’s King Kong reminded me of why I rarely watch the old versions of the movie. I like King Kong the animal but I prefer the Godzilla movies. King Kong vs Godzilla is a classic and I still think to this day that King Kong won, so you know King Kong ain’t no bitch. That’s my dog. My problem with the King Kong movie is that I’m too empathic. I feel sorry for the gorilla, which translates into anger towards the rest of the people in the movie. Being it was a Peter Jackson piece and his history in my eyes, I was mad at the white people in the movie. It had me talking to the screen. Why? Why do you need to take that animal out of it’s natural habitat? Honestly what were the best and worst-case scenarios for bring it to the states? Best case is that it becomes a well behaved display monkey that you can show off for the rest of it’s life. Worst case is that the gorilla goes crazy and you have to kill it. Lose – lose situation for the gorilla, just because some rich white people wanna see a monkey on Broadway (If they really wanted a monkey on Broadway just give Michael Jackson a one man show). King Kong was a king on his island but they had to bring him to America to be a slave. I feel for my man, King Kong. Another thing that hurts is that it gives ammo to those black women (I heard them in the theater) who like to say, “See that’s what happens when you mess with them white women.” “This is worst than what happen to Denzel in Man on Fire, you see how loving that little white girl got him killed.” Now these people have at least three good cases they can pull on at any time: OJ, Kobe, and now King Kong.

Get Rich Or Die Trying

Ok, movie review time. I just seen 50 cent’s “Get Rich or Die Trying” and I must say I was pleasantly surprised. I’m not a big fan of the “rapper movies” but there some ones out that I like. “8 Mile” and “Hustle and Flow” were good. “Get Rich or Die Trying” is not as good as either one of those but it was entertaining. I’m not going to tell whether the movie was worth seeing or not, because it is all on you. But, I will tell you what I dislike about and what to watch for. And I will try not to give away the movie.

Joy Bryant was hot in the movie; she shined. Adebisi was too funny. I call him, Adebisi because that’s how I know him for the OZ show, but his real name is Adewale Akinnouye-Agbaje. He’s the black nigga that’s been in everything from “the Mummy Return” to the TV show “Lost.”

What funny to watch for:
Adebisi 90’s see through muscle shirt. That nigga wears the same outfit for every scene no matter the time frame, 80’s or 90’s, until the end.

50’s Jamaican friend. Every line that nigga says is funny. Check out what and how he says it when he gets shot. “For Really.”

50’s acting. Enough said. Nah, but check out the facial expressions for each mood. There was the sad face, the happy face, the confused face, and the best ever, the blank look. Check out the look 50 gives when old dude tells him that he fucked his moms. One disturbing thing is the way 50’s jaw doesn’t move when he talks. He talk through his teeth and it urked me.

The kid 50. That kid really shined. He could act his ass off. That kid looked and emulated all of 50’s mannerism to a tee. He was the best part of the movie except Joy Bryant.

Hated about it:
It was not an inspiring movie at all. I think it promotes and encourages the unlikely. It’s not for the weak minded or kids. Being a gangster is not a fun choice and selling drugs is not a viable occupation. Why would you show people how to cook crack? Or make drug dealing, murdering gangster the only good role models in the movie.

The prison scene was too much. Male nudity is not good. There was more male nudity than female nudity in the movie and that’s not cool.

All in all, I liked it because I could find something enjoyable in it.

Who Cares What GW Has To Say

A Cult Classic

It been a while since I’ve sent a mass email. This time it is serious, a serious fanboy email that is. One of my new favorite movies is Napoleon Dynamite. By now, everyone should have seen it. If not go see it. It is now a fairly old movie, but I taken a notice to things. When I quote stuff from the movies some individuals get it and some don’t. So I feel the need to express my understanding about why others like or dislike the movie. People are polarized by this movie. Rarely do you come across such a hit or miss movie. Either you love it or hate it. And I love it. When Deb said she trying to earn money for college and Kip eavesdropping from the other room said, “your mom goes to college”, I fell out of my sit laughing. Because it was fucking funny. Every time I watch the movie, I laugh from beginning to end. Everytime that bamma said “Yesssss” or “Sweet” I laugh cause that shit is too funny and highly quotable. How can you find his serious current event article about the loch ness monster and wizards who try to save Nessie from the Japanese scientist not funny? I will stop whatever I’m doing to stop and watch it, because I find something new in it every time. Like did you notice, Uncle Rico checking out his guns when him and Kip were in the diner planning to make some sweet moolah selling shit? It is easy to see why it was the biggest hit at Sundance. This movie is so damn funny. At least to me.

Through research and study, I have figured out the difference between the lovers and the haters. Napoleon Dynamite is not a traditional comedy and that is why some people don’t like or don’t understand it. To like it requires a, dare I say it, a sense of humor. It’s a unique brand of humor; some people cannot get it right off the bat. They need help. These people generally prefer fart jokes and slap stick. They only see the obvious and they just miss shit. There have been at least half a dozen people whose opinion on the movie I’ve changed just by saying to notice certain shit. Instantly the movie became funny. This movie got an instant cult following at Sundance because it is that damn good. Read the reviews. Napoleon Dynamite has produced some of the best quotes and “sweet” impressions since the Austin Powers series. Except for the Dave Chappelle Show of course, because we know he still has the best quotes, bitch. “Tina! Come get some ham!” or “there’s like a butt load of gangs at this school. This one gang wanted me to join cause I’m pretty good with the bow staff.” That shit is funny. If you didn’t get it when you saw it, then ask me in private so you don’t feel embarrassed and I’ll explain. Better yet I’ll watch it with you and tell you when and why to laugh.

You know the movie is the truth when you start seeing people on the street with a “Vote for Pedro” t-shirt. Now I want one. And when you get MasterCard priceless emails about Uncle Rico ability to throw the football a quarter mile and him winning state back ‘82. The movie is a classic I tell you. Without this movie, who would have known that girls only want boyfriends with skills; like nunchaku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills. What movie stars a high school guy who draws “ligers” (half lion, half tigers, breed for special powers of magic) and rides the school bus to school with the 6th graders after spending the summer hunting wolverines (with a 12 gauge, of course) that were trying to kill his cousins? Or a movie with a Mexican, who bakes his ladies a cake and wears a wig of a medieval warrior, after takes his sledgehammer bike off sweet jumps in the front yard? Not Harold and Kumar(with six O’s and three U’s). Come on let us all laugh at Kip (who thinks gold bracelets make you look official) sitting at home chatting with babes all day and training to be a cage fighter while making he’s best move be a slow ass leg sweep. Plus Kip hooks up with the big booty black girl off the Internet. How can you not love that?

Just type Napoleon Dynamite into google and check out the fan soundboards and t-shirts. And then start to realize, if you don’t think the movie was any good then there may be something wrong with you.

Signing off,
Will Wash
“You going to eat your tots?”