Barber Shop Advice: Go to the Red Light District

So my Barber asked me what’s going on and I said I was going to Germany this weekend, and he goes, “Ahh, Red Light District.”  LOL the rest of the barber shop chimes in talking about how good the hookers in Europe look, how they will love me because I don’t look like them, and how much easier it was than dating. LMAO.  They went in depth about the last one. 

It would cost more to knock it down by dating here.  They was dreaming of a better world where girls would tell them how many dates before they would let you hit, then figure out the cost (for things like dinner and such) then pay up front so nobody don’t wastes time.  Have to love barber shop talk.  Everyone agreed Nevada’s Bunny Ranch was not what was up.  It cost too much for girls that not even tight.  No one was willing to spend several g’s.

Then they proceed to ask everyone where have they been and how are the girls.  When one said Brazil, convo reach a high and a low.  Love for the sexual freedom of the people.  One guy had a tale of three women bent over at once, two sisters and a cousin, all getting it in at the same time.  Another guy confirmed, yup they get it like that.

“You can bang out 5 a night.”
”Will it cost you?”
”Nah, they having fun too.  They sexually free.”

But then he got real, “You’ll wake up with your dick on the pillow beside you.  And they got the highest AIDS rate.”  Finally, he warned Becky might be a Billy.  The guys look just like girls. After few jokes that deaded the whole convo.  Barber Shop Advice: Go to the Red Light District and have a brownie in Amsterdam.

Vibrations

So I'm happy to say I have added two new terms this past weekend in to my rotation. On friday, I went on a Happy Hour Margarita Cruise. I met two Middle School teachers there, which is really cool. Oh yea, they were fairly young teachers. My conversation are never how is the weather type, so I'm telling the ladies of my latest "thing." I like to point out lesbian couples. Not the gay ones, just the lesbians. I like to go, "oh, look. there's a cute lesbian couple." That's my latest "thing" to do out in public with friends. Well, one of the teachers tells me of the gay girl in her Middle School class. Term one: She called her a "Lil Wayne disciple." I love it. The little girl looked like Lil Wayne, but I assume without the extremely ugly face. Anyway, the little girl dresses and acts like a gangsta boy, even does the whole voice over thing. Now there was the tale of the cutest girl in the grade and all the boys was trying to holler at her, and guess who gets her number? yep, Lil Miss Wayne. Now let me say now, the little girl was upset when she found out Lil Miss Wayne was actually a Miss. But it's a great story. Ready for term two? OK, so one day my new favorite Middle School teacher is sitting in class and the class has something occupying them. So the teacher pulls out an apple and takes a bite. As she bites the apple, Lil Miss Wayne watches her lips pressed on the apple skin taking a bite and says out loud, "vibrations." HAHAHA!!!!!! OMG!! Vaginal Vibrations? ha ha I love it. The teacher said she had to get up and leave the class when she heard that so she would not hurt that little girl. I laughed so hard. Mmmm vibrations....