How I First Learned To Program

I been asked many times, is computer programming hard?  My answer is always no, anyone can learn.  I taught myself my first programming language in early in the 9th grade after randomly finding this BASIC Games Book in the used bookstore in Downtown Wheaton, Maryland.  On the family old 286 PC, I would sit there an type out programs and run them on the MS-DOS BASIC Interpreter.  I never learn how to save the files so I would have to retype the programs every time I got on.  It wasn't just about playing the games, it was the correlation of what I typed and how it translated in to actions on the computer.  And with further understanding, I would be able to write programs that do what I want them to do, like those in the book.

At night, I would lay in the bed and study the programs...relating what one line might mean to another.  And that's how I learned BASIC.  I didn't have anyone to teach me or any idea of what it was I was looking at, but I liked it.  I was able to figure out what the keywords meant through mostly trial and error and relational analyst.  Now that I'm older, I don't think it was a process too different from someone learning another speaking language through immersion.  Learning is learning no matter what the subject is.  You can learn the laws of physics by using and observing them.

Today, I know several more programming language and have a Computer Science degree.  Also, I am doing what I learned to love years ago for a living.  It feels good.  But the bottom line, it wasn't hard to learn; it only took one book, and it wasn't even a how to book.

*Disclaimer* Learning a computer language is not difficult at all but being good at writing computer software is mainly the reason why you paid what you are paid.  Just like a writer, knowing how to put words together will only get you so far, the talent is how well you put the words together to achieve your goal.

FTSwindle (For The Swindle)

You have reached a stage in your life, now you have the Big Boy life.  Big Boy clothes, Big Boy job, and Big Boy problems.  You have come up in life.  So with this Big Boy life, you need a reliable car to travel it work to and while keeping and succeeding in that Big Boy career. You could get a new Big Boy car, but you came across the car you have always dreamed of.  It's one of them cars that's one of a kind special but it's used.  And you can only afford one car.  You are faced with the choice of your dream car or going out and looking for a new car to settle on to get you to work and your future.  But it's your dream car and it's the car you always wanted so you go with that despite it being older and having 100,000 miles already.  You are happy, you are living your dream.  The moments you have it you are loving it and can't imagine how you was getting by without it before.  Then suddenly, the problems become greater and more frequent.  Your future is in jeopardy, it's not reliable.  After the fact, you check the Carfax report and see it had several previous owners that didn't take care of it.  Internal problems, accidents, failed maintenance, just a lack of regard for taking care of.  After seeing the report it's hard to view the car the same way, you start noticing problem and flaws you didn't see before.  It's your dream car so you still hold on hope even against the odds.  You pay for maintenance and repairs.  You take care of the car like it should.  But still the car turns on you and dies.  So now you are stuck having to go out and find another car because you need one.  Odds are after feeling burned, you won't go used again but after spending all the time and money it will be hard to afford the brand new car that you would want.  So you are faced with either settling with a new reliable car that you really don't love that much but it does what you need it to do with no problems or going used again and rolling the dice on the damages that it may have.

The Hard Question is:  Was that brief joy of owning your dream car worth all the later hardships and setbacks?

American Samoa Is Now On My Help Radar

American Samoa is US territory (think like Puerto Rico, but less independent).  The population is about the size of Washington, DC.  And they have a larger than average percentage of people in the NFL and in US military service.  Basically, good people.  They live under the poverty line and in 2007 laws were passed giving the islands minimum wage.  It's would grow slowly every year until it reached the same as here on the mainland.  The main provider of the economy of American Samoa is tuna, everyone there worked for one of the 2-3 tuna companies.  Well Chicken of Sea packed up ship and moved from there because they didn't want to pay minimum wages and moved closer to home, Georgia.  So StarKist is the only company left to employ the citizens there and have started laying off people.  I am no longer buying Chicken of Sea tuna, I'm going strictly StarKist tuna. I believe in minimum wage and fair employment so I will support them being able to employ them even at additional cost. Especially if it mean helping out poor people by providing them with the same equal benefits that I enjoy and not necessary hand outs.  Basically I rather give a dollar to the homeless guy that washes my windows or pumps my gas than the guy the just sits there with a cup.  One is trying to normal.  Hopefully, StarKist doesn't pack up and leave the islands jobless.

*Sidebar* it's still FUCK WALMART!  My beef with them ain't no where near over!

Ever Felt A Disturbance In The Force?

There are times in your life where everything looks good on paper, but your gut is telling you something is not right.  The hard question is what do you do?  Even though everything seems great you have a strong feeling it’s not going to last.

Personally, I am feeling a disturbance in the Force, like in the Star Wars movies.  The world is not inline.  Not just on a global level but more so on a personal level.  I am blessed to have a healthy family, a good job, a good girl, and a wonderful set of friends but yet something is not quite right and it didn’t always feel like this.  I still do the same things everyday but they don’t feel the same.  Almost like the loneliness in a crowded room feeling… Don’t worry I’m not suicidal or nothing haha, my life is good.  I just thought I would share the feelings of being on autopilot.  I’m sure it will pass or there will be the epic movie climax that follows a disturbance in the Force to signal the end of something.

Why Do You Like Them?

Growing up in the Washington DC area as Cowboys fan I am frequently asked why or how am I a Cowboy’s fan.  I challenge, how are you a Redskin fan?  It is better to be a fan of any other team in the league.  If it’s because it’s the home team then take responsibility for them.

The Redskin name is an insult to America and I can simply tell you why.  You shouldn’t be proud of them until the organization becomes something to be proud of.  Please answer this, would you walk around with a New York Kikes Jersey with a trademark Image like this:

No, right?

What about the Atlanta Niggers, Miami Chinks, or Los Angeles Spics merchandise?  Man, everyone minority group would be angry if an organization did something like that.  And at the nation’s capital at that.  Just because America has nearly wiped out the Native American population doesn’t mean that it’s ok.  They don’t like the Redskin name it is just as insulting as being called a cracker, chink, nigger, spic, towel head or another derogatory racial slur.  The Redskin team being in Washington, DC is a disgrace to the multiculturalism of the United States and constant reminder of what is not great about this country and the way it’s citizens treats one another.  It would less offensive if it wasn’t in the capital but in some “redneck” city where we may expect such overt racism.  So Redskin fans that want to retire the n-word but what about the red-word?

Yes as a Cowboys fan, I do feel a moral superiority because I made a choice not to support racism.

Hyenas Will Take Anything

Except for the aardwolf, all living hyena species are hunters and scavengers.

Scavenger - an organism that typically feeds on refuse or carrion.  Basically, animals that eat dead animals that they did not kill themselves or a person who collects things discarded by others

A Predator - One that victimizes, plunders, or destroys, especially for one's own gain.

Would you consider yourself a Hyena?  Simple enough question.  There are Hyena’s among us. We don’t notice because they fit into our ecosystem, they play a role.

Who am I calling hyenas?  People who make a habit out of predatorily scavenging others.  It happen in every aspects of life.  Take style for example, if you not creating, you’re borrowing.  Your “style” or “swag” consist of the remains of others.  I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, please remember that.  But if you are seeing someone else with it and thinking you can rock it then you are scavenging.  Maybe you don’t take everything and only use bits and pieces to make your own unique flavor but the fact still remains you are not really the creator, you are modifying.  It’s like a music producer who samples music, while it’s nice and all but you should never be compared to Mozart.

Another example of predatory scavenging is intellectual properties and ideas.  Hyenas are the people who take and run with other people’s ideas without notice.  They are good a doing what someone else has already done.  Not always bad thing, because things can be improved upon.  But can be illegal in business.  It’s just the nature of those animals.  They see something that someone else has or is doing and want it.  We all know people like that or we ourselves may be like.  Usually subconsciously of course.  It’s nice having followers sometimes but it’s extremely annoying when credit isn’t always given.  No one works for free all the time.  Very common preying ground is the work place.  And another often overlooked place is your circle of friends.  For example, you mention to friend you want to go Mexico, a dream of yours and then later the friend comes subliminally bragging that they have trip to Mexico, clearly booked after talking to you and doesn’t include you.  They don’t mean harm they are just doing what comes natural to them.  Or you introduce someone to an activity like crossbow shooting, you bring them along and the next thing you know they claimed it as their own thing, you don’t get invites when they go out and when side by side you are never given credit for getting them started.  Also say they noticed you changed your place up, maybe brought something new, or started using a new technology then suddenly you notice they doing the same thing you doing – but this is what makes them hyenas, not just the copying, they do it like it was all them – no thought of they are not original and taking from another’s shine.  That’s the behavior. They don’t ask, inform, not a small instant message, or nothing.  Suddenly they doing the same thing you doing, but with their own name on it.

Everyone has different personalities.  Some are invertors, ground breakers, risk takers; while others are good at adopting and taking.  There is nothing wrong with sharing, that’s why I said it’s not a bad thing.  If something is good it should be shared and enjoyed.  But hyenas should never be compared to gazelles or lions because they are predatory opportunist and thus not the same.

“Biters, remember where you heard it first”

Video Games are the Novels of the Non-Reader

For Christmas I got a PS3! Yay, I feel like a kid again.  As a long time Xbox user and avid gamer I don’t think I missed much in terms of gaming, because I try to keep up.  Anyway, my Xbox is still my primary gaming machine.  I but I don’t like the idea of my PS3 as only a Blu-Ray player, so I went looking for a game to play on it.  The keys I was looking for in games for my PS3 was:

1. Single Player.  Xbox reigns supreme in multiplayer, and that’s where all my friends are to play with.  Also I have the Playstation in the bedroom so I can lay in bed and play until I get sleepy.
2. Have an engaging story, part of the experience is I want to be entertained and not need to watch Netflix or Blu-rays.

I remember a friend saying the scariest game he ever played was Dead Space.  So I went to look it up.  It was survival horror game and available for both the PS3 and the Xbox.  I looked at the reviews(8.7 out of 10 with a good story).  They rated the graphics, scary mood lighting, and sound as really good.  That would be perfect for my bedroom set up too, finally get to make good usage of the surround sound set up I was pressed to put in the bedroom.  It doesn’t stop there, it was also up for a few yearly awards when first released and on many blog sites listed as one of the scariest games of all time. However they did say the Xbox version was slightly better( a trend I am noticing).  I did notice the price($20 verses $60) was greatly marked down for a PS3 game and they are in production of a sequel; sounded like a perfect game to start my PS3 gaming on.

Trailer:

I turned out the lights and cranked the surround sound up.  The game was engaging and visually stunning.  It took about 2 days and over 8 hours to finish the game.  I one thing I did not like about the game and I blame myself for reading too many reviews, is that I noticed exactly what the lady that wrote the only negative review about it had complained about it.  And it started to bother me too.  I don’t think I would of notice if I had not read that review either.  Fail on my part, for breaking my own guidelines of not looking too much at reviews.  But I took that negativity and used it as a reason to hurry up and beat the game so it would stop and I would be done with the game.

Normally when playing my games I don’t pay too much attention to story unless I know it or have a strong interest in it, like Star Wars games.  Ask me what the Gears of War or Halo stories were about, I couldn’t tell you even after completing all the games.  But this time I purposely tried to pay attention and listen and watch.  And it pays off so much!  I was amazed at how much I like the entire experience after they wrapped up the entire game at the end.  I thought back to scenes and info they presented earlier and it all made sense!  Shit the game play was average, the story just ok but the experience was amazing.  It was how everything came together, the mood (visuals and sounds) and the deep story (not a great story, but depth plus they had plot twist too like any good story with additional info you don’t think is important until the end).

So I was happy and entertained, because it’s was good game and I actually finished a game and knew what happened in it.

A couple of days later while surfing Netflix I stubble on an movie called Dead Space: Downfall.  From the description, it was a feature length prequel to the video game! And guess what, it was streaming too. FTW!!!  With a 3.4 stars best guess rating for me, 3.3 stars viewer rating (all out of 5), and having NOW beaten the game, I thought I should watch it.  It wasn’t bad at all, it was good even.  The best part was that: I knew what was going on into the movie, so there wasn’t any figuring out, just all story to entertain me. 

Trailer:



The entirety of this was an epic experience stemming from an average $20 video game.

This got me thinking.  The last novel I read was couple months ago it was long and I got kind of bored and didn’t think to pick up back up.  That happens with games too.  This said novel was the 5 in a series, I like the earlier books (great value for $8 packs of paper) and keep reading to see where it was going.  Each book took hours to read, was long, and could be great if paying attention and had depth.  This is very similar in concept to the experiences I have playing some video games.  A common question when looking at a story based game is “Around how many hours is it?”  Like looking at the number of pages or words in a novel.  Novels don’t have straight lines of stories, neither do video games.  They are the same.  Except on makes you feel like you are guiding the story, but let’s be honest, you aren’t, the writers/programmers designed it that way. So I say, video games are the novels to the non-reader that like to do instead of watch.  The difference is interaction.  Both are long winding stories, but some people don’t mind reading for hours on end while others prefer pushing buttons and other stimulations to get their story.

*sorry, wrote this at work and it’s too long for me to read over and fix grammar, spelling, and shit. If you follow me, you know good grammar is not a priority when it comes to get my message out.

Who Are You?

When you hear the name “Michael Jackson” what comes to mind?  The entertainer, right?  Well maybe for most people except people that may know another Michael Jackson that’s fresh on their minds.  Michael Jackson is easily one of the most common names in America, there are hundred of thousands of them.  But this one guy stands out in most of our minds.

Often people don’t understand why  I become bothered when people compare me to other people.  “You look like…” “You act like…”  Well hopefully after this entry you will understand and also share the feeling.

When you hear the name William Washington or Will Wash, what person comes to mind?  Hopefully me.  I pride myself in that.  My own little impact to those around me.

But what a name really?  Sure your last name establishes your linage and placement in the world, kind of.  But your given name is just a name you was given by someone.  If you were the last person on earth, The Omega Man, would you care about having a name?  No.  There is now the there to need it or use it.  Because you don’t refer to yourself in third person, unless you are crazy.  This feral kid that are raised by wolves don’t give themselves names, they don’t need a name.  You are you, that why in language we have I’s and me’s.  To refer to ourselves.  Your name is simply for being able to communicate the difference between human 1 and human 2 without having to see, touch, or point.  Identification.  Any profound meaning? No, not yet.  Remember your name is not even for you because you don’t need to identify yourself from someone else.  Unless you are mentally crazy.

On the surface name don’t really have importance other than having one, and that is kind of correct.  But names can be made to have importance.  As a baby your parents gave you a name to identify you.  You don’t know about liking it or not or if it has some meaning.  Mayber is has meaning to the ones that gave it to you but it’s actually meaning is simple you, the human being because that what names are for, identification.  As you grown and as it is used you claim ownership of that name.  When someone ask you, you say your name or nickname or whatever you are used to people being able to identify you as.  That’s why people seem to be ok with strange or silly names, not because they like them or got to pick their own name but because it’s the way they are identified and have acknowledged and claimed ownership.  After 18 you have the option to start over being associating yourself with another name for people to know for other people.  Also there stages in life where you may add to your name for better identification, like taking your husbands name or taking a title.  Becoming identified as Mrs Somebody or Dr Somebody in addition your given name.  Just more ways of isolating the one in a few billion of people.  But as always doesn’t matter what your name actual name is because it’s for other people to call you.

Names don’t importance attached to them until people start associating it to something.  Like Rockefeller is to money because of the people that have that name done things that a noteworthy and worth remembering in regards to money.  Same thing with each of our names.  There are thousands of other William Washingtons in the US alone, it’s a common name.  Now if you see the name William Washington how do you know which one someone is talking about?  You don’t until more info is given but in the mean time one of them that you know will come to mind and the one that have left the biggest impression on your life will be the one.

So I try hard to leave an impression or mark on the world, for at the very least for identification purposes.  Not that I have to become famous or anything but not hiding my identity and making impact those around me so that know who I am.  Doesn’t matter if it’s my full name or nickname what matters is you can clearly identify the human being born March 15, 1979 in Washington DC.

To make an impact on those around you it really doesn’t matter either on how you do it but that you doing it.  You could be like Hitler or Gracy or on the other side Martin Luther- haha or Martin Luther King (which one was you thinking of?).  But it’s your own task to make your given name mean you as that particular human being and the emotion and feelings attached to it.

Look at Rick Ross.  Which one are you thinking of?  The rapper or drug dealer?  This is case where a person changed his name.  Rick Ross was a drug dealer that had street fame, people knew of him and when someone said the name, they knew who they talking about.  Then there was a man who wanted to be famous and took the stage name Rick Ross.  Now the name Rick Ross was familiar to many by now because of the works of the drug dealer so that help him be recognized as the other Rick Ross.  So while one guy is in jail the other is still out spreading his influence to the point where if you say the name Rick Ross you think of the entertainer instead of the original drug dealer.  At first the name Rick Ross made people think of drugs and now Rick Ross make people think of rap music.  The name didn’t change but the people and the thoughts behind it did.

Each of us have a name and it’s our job to make it stand out, mean something, or associate it with us.  Whether you was given the name or made it up it’s still up to the person that give the name value and human association in the minds of others because that’s what names are all about association in other people’s minds, not our own.  Of course, unless you are crazy and need to associate yourself with a name to refer to yourself to.

Now when you tell me I remind you for someone else that means I have not made a big enough impact in your mind.  Because you need to associate me as variation of someone else.  That’s a problem with me because when you are faced with two humans and that other guy was the primary thought.  When people first meet me I understand, don’t like it but understand.  Because we all do that to help us relate and remember things to by associations.  Over time, you will not need to do an association to identify me because I would have made a big enough impact in you mind separate from that association…hopefully.

Shout out to my dad for giving me his name, I hope I can improve it and make him proud for giving it to me.  Feel free to comment on this one.  What do you want out of your name?  Do you think it’s your job to give meaning to your name?

Reality Is Holding You Back, Huh???

My life is filled with lots of interesting people all with a wide range of personalities.  As always, you are who you are and there is nothing wrong with that.  Really, it's the world job to figure you out, because you can't bitch about snakes always biting you when you refuse to learn how to be around snakes.  But I'm not talking about snakes or people like snakes, I swear I cover that before.

I like people that think differently than me, don't always get along but it's never dull. One of my favorites is the people that live in alternate realities.  It ranges from delusional to having circus mirror.  For example, delusional - You know the guy you have know your whole life, grew up and went to school together.  The whole works.  Every time you talk to him he speak of something in the past that never happened, usually delusions of grandeur.  You'll say you ran in to someone like the prom queen from high school and randomly add to the convo that he used to date her. Of course you are like WTF?!  Because you know that she wouldn't of given him the time of day back then, you were his friend.  I would give you a real life example of a fingering story but it would blow up spots, and I still love my friends.

But not all people are that crazy.  The common trait is I think they might actually believe some of the stuff happen or might of happened.  You know how if you think about it so much or strongly it maybe true or become part of your memory.  Like how they say to beat a lie detector test, is to actually believe your lie.

My mother does this one to me.  I go down to the basement to do something and come back up and she is in the kitchen.  As I enter the kitchen, she asks me did I bring up the pot?  Of course I go huh? What pot?  She says I asked you to bring up the pot I needed.  Where is it?  Then it's a back in forth me saying no you didn't ask me to.  It's not that I didn't hear her because it happens at other times too and been happening for all my life.  Her minds is like mind, but faster I think.  She is thinking about about so much stuff going on and what to do next, in her head she did ask me to bring up the pot but it was just not vocalized before going on to the next thought.

Similar is the person that tells stories like that.  They interject there thoughts in to the story like it happen as a matter of fact.  You will never hear them say "And I thought" or "In my head I was like."  The more tramatic the better they sound and the more different it is from the actual events of the story.  Their retelling is like a blockbuster movie for an 8 page picture book.  For example, they went to the store and noticed someone staring at them, they look away and then they left, that's it no words exchanged event over.  But in their retelling, They went to the store and this guy was eyeballing them like he wanted to fight, gave them and mean mug and was like (notice the "was like"), "What are you looking at?!"  They say how they was about to get all up in his business and buss some heads. "You better get out of here before someone gets hurt!" And they left.   You are like WOW, that's crazy.  And then you ask, "Wow, you said that?!"  But Rule #1 don't ask these people more questions because it will force them to lie or *palmface* for making it up. "Nah, but I was going to if I had more time." :-/

Finally, there is the fact maker-uppers.  Normally very smart people and in charge of stuff, or just plain Republican.  They are not your normal liars because they don't do it because they have to, they do it feel included or to prove a point.  These are the people that make up statistic, definitions, and reviews.  I ask about a new movie and they will tell you all about it the meaning behind it.  Then you ask have you seen it, no only the trailer. "In my head," I'm like wow your mind is amazing - AND out of control.  Don't talk politic with these people either they love to pull stats out of there ass.  Did you know only 2 three people in the Turtletown, Oregon don't have healthcare?  Or the average human colon holds 7lbs of waste.  And I'm think, no you are full of shit.  Anyway the more obscure the stat the better.

Talk Of The Devil, And He Is Bound To Appear

When it comes to horror movies, the ones I like best are the ones centered around religious beliefs.  But why do movies dealing with the Devil and demons scare us more than ghosts, serial killers, or pale Japanese girls?

Ok, it is something like 84% of the population of the world believes in some type of religion, billions of people.  And as far back as human record keeping, there has been the existence of religion.  Spiritual belief goes hand in hand with human existence.  Have you notice that even children not old enough to comprehend seem to play/speak with imaginary things and friends? And babies stare at things we can’t comprehend?  But either way… Out of the 84% the spiritual believers, 66% of them all have the same God and share the same back-story (children of Abraham from the book of Genesis).  Say, if 84% of the world thinks the world’s climate is changing for the worst, and if 66% of them say it’s because of global warming it would be hard to argue that all those people are wrong.  To be able to argue the world is not changing, you would need to be smarter than the experts of those billions of people and the odds of that are like winning the lottery.  Which is why people shouldn’t argue religion.

Ok, now in the Islam, Judaism, and Christianity there is this one character that appears.  First in the exact same location, the Garden of Eden.  This character with many names, Shaytan in the Qur’an, simply the Adversary (Ha-satan) in the Hebrew Bible, and too many to list in the Christian Bible.  He tempts the first people and sets up the stage for their purpose in later accounts.  Now this character also has different purposes depending on who’s telling the story.  But exists never the less.  So he is not exactly our modern concept of the “devil”.  These books and histories are not the only places where this character or concept of spiritual supernatural personification of evil is located.  Hinduism also has gods that counter balance for example, Rahu and the satan-like god Kroni.  Even Buddhism have Mara, who tempted Buddha. Ancient Egypt had Osiris.

No matter what you believe, nobody is attracted to negativity and are careful of things that hinder success and prosperity.  Could it be movies and stories with supernatural evil is scarier than the zombie, ghost, and serial killer is because the odds of that type of encounter seem higher?  To me, the fear of a supernatural being that are god-like in influencing our well-being is scary because it’s like having a stalker that you or the police can not do anything about.  You know the stalker watching, following, and waiting and there is nothing you can do about it, you can’t run or kill it.  It’s the nervousness of being weaker and knowing something bad can happen.  In your personal life what do you find scariest and how does that influence what you find scary in movies?  I know so many people that don’t do evil things at all in their movie watching.

 

Side note: on the topic of religions, if you like researching you will notice many common concepts and similar stories found in many of the world religions, even religions that are worlds apart.  Noah and the world flooding is a big one that is shared by non related religions and science.

Bad Boy 4 Life

In current pop culture news, it looks like rapper Shyne will be deported after being released from prison.  If you don’t who the guy is, you probable not a Bad Boy Music Label fan, any time in the last 12-13 years.  Shyne was a young promising rapper from the streets of NY that sounded a lot like Notorious BIG, Biggie.  *Dateline, Signal the Musical Child Predator* Puff Daddy, Puffy, P-Diddy, Diddy, Sean Combs the music business tycoon behind one of the greatest rapper of all time B.I.G. got wind of a guy sounding like Biggie and signed him under his music label, Bad Boy.  Puff took him under his wing like he does most of his young artist to groom his career.

At this time Puff was the luckiest dude in America, more than the President, he was dating and hopefully tapping (can’t assume he’s not a Decepticon) the most famous booty in America, Jennifer Lopez.  So one night they go to a night club and NYC and of course shots are fired.  Someone was hurt, Puff and Latin Booty flee the scene.  Scandal.  Puff and his Biggie Pokémon are arrested.  Police say Puff and Shyne both pulled guns in a “dispute” after a person disrespectfully threw money at Big Daddy Dollars Mr. Combs.  Shyne’s dumb ass fired and shot someone in the face.  Puff’s driver says Diddy tried to bribe him in to taking his gun.  The same driver who later takes Puff Daddy to civil court and gets a settlement (for you Michael Jackson and OJ Simpson people ;-) means he was guilty, right???). 

Here’s where my opinion comes in.  They both get the same charges against them but like a smart guy, Puff ( the rich guy of the two ) get another lawyer.  He buys the greatest lawyer on earth, at the time, Johnny L. Cochran Jr.  I would too, if I had the money.  And Shyne was left to fend for himself in court.  I would of thrown Shyne some money for a lawyer upgrade, that’s a rich me.  Smart for Puff but it may not be the most loyal (street) thing to do either.  Even drug king pins give their best guys and friends money and access to their favorite lawyers, if only so the don’t snitch.  But Diddy is too pretty to go to jail, and not a “street” dude.  I thought he did Shyne kind of dirty in saving his own ass.  I mean, one, you are the rich one of the two.  Two, you supposedly took the guy under your wing and befriended him to the point of loyalty.  Also most like a father figure to that young man.  Finally, the guy got in trouble defending you!  Sure it was a dumb way of doing it, but not like you wasn’t involved in it too.

Shyne being the stand up guy (and street) that he is, he didn’t turn on Diddy.  He plead guilty and didn’t testify against Combs.  Of course, Diddy beat the case with his super lawyer.  One juror actually said Diddy was guilty but the prosecution couldn’t prove it’s case.  Why wouldn’t that work for Shyne too?  He was up for the same charges, was standing right beside each other???

Was Shyne guilty, yes.  And so was Diddy.  The people outside the courthouse protesting and claiming his innocents are retarded.  They didn’t know he was innocent, they just like the guy.  He’s popular, that’s all they know, and like his music.  They don’t know him personally.  Most of the people that was on his label don’t think nicely of him.  A real friend or someone who cares about you will tell you when you are wrong and not just overlook it. And fans will not.

I do like when people beat the justice system designed to work against them, but it doesn’t change the fact they were wrong.  It is also troubling that the justice system is not the same for someone with money verses someone without.  Now the poor kid from the streets, Shyne was not a US citizen.  He carried a green card.  He been in the country since early teens.  Typical immigrant story of a poor family saving up to bring the rest over to America for a better life.  It’s sad the family dream was almost greatly achieved with Shyne getting a record deal and famous mentor (who brought the world one of the greatest rappers of all time) then only seeing it being locked away or put on hold.  Shyne could still be a great rapper and make millions, but the problem is - he is not a citizen and committed a felony, he must go.  Seriously, I am all for this law!  We should not have criminals as a US import, we have enough home grown ones.  But is Shyne special, should he be allowed to stay, because people “like” him?  No.  He is in fact no different from any ol’ Hector.

I commend the guy for being tough through prison (and not snitching when he easily could taken down the music mogul) and I think he is a good/alright rapper but just winning a popularity contest is not enough in my book to be above the law.  Also, he is a rapper and well known, he has a much better chance at a fulfilling life overseas than some poor knucklehead with no education does.  He doesn’t NEED to live here, would just LIKE to.  He can still make music, shit the internet don’t care what country you are in.  Shyne is just a victim of stupidity, idol worshiping, and Diddiness.  For that, I feel bad for him.  I’m sorry he was a talented guy that crossed paths with Puff Daddy.  I think Puff should of had him take the Nationalization test while he had him under his wing too.  I mean he grew up here, why not?! 

I also feel sorry for the families that were hurt in the shooting.  For that reason, Shyne doesn’t not get a free pass.  He hurt people.  Those families should not have to see him and Diddy grinning and hopping down the street of NYC on a shopping spree (Not that they ever would, Shyne hates Diddy now).  Shyne should put a hit out on Diddy for ruining his life, since he can’t come back to America anyway…just a thought.

I think we all can learn a lesson from Shyne’s story.  Want to support him, then buy his music on itunes when it comes out so he can make money still –and pay back the civil suit he lost to the families that were hurt in the shooting.  Just please don’t argue he is innocent or should stay here because he is not and shouldn’t stay.  We have enough popular “bad boys” already.

Pet Peeve #3: Special People Type A

To me there are two types of special people. Type A – people that think they are special and Type B – people that are retardedly special.  Let’s be honest, to be called special now-a-days is not a good thing anymore.  I can’t stand Type A Special People.

These are the people that act like the world owes them something.  They are amazed when they have to pay for something, which always costs “too much”, because everything for them should be free.

They don’t believe rules apply to them.  I hate playing games with rewards and consequences with these people.  They are the ones that will join in drinking games and refuse to drink.  You don’t have to play!  Sit your monkey ass out, if you don’t feel like drinking anymore.  If everyone else is drinking because they lost, what makes you special?  You only want the rewards, you selfish, self-centered bastard. It’s like you joining us in a bank robbery but not wanting to go to jail when you get caught.  If you don’t like jail then don’t participate, you knew before you started what happens when you lose. …“the cake and eat it too”

They don’t like waiting their turn in line.  No remorse for cutting in front of people.  Because once again, rules don’t apply to them. Especially, social rules.

They don’t say thank you when you hold doors for them, because that’s like asking them to pay for a service they are using; even with simple words of gratitude for not letting the door hit them in the face for which they would later dog you out for not holding the door for their special ass.

One telling fact is no matter what, if these special people tell it, they are 99.9% of the time never wrong and it is always someone else's fault or excuse riddled tales.

You can tell these people by the two simple assumptions they make:

1. The rules don’t apply to them, but work for them.
2. They should never be required to be grateful.  Because they are God’s gift to the world and the world owes them.  Even though they could die this moment and 99.98% of the world wouldn’t give a damn.

You know theses people and are friends with them.  You might even be one without realizing people see you as one.  Ask yourself how often it is someone else’s fault or how often you believe stuff should be given to you (like how often you complain about paying for something).  Do you try to sneak, slip, or get around systems?  Do you back out, renege on your word (say you would participate and then back out) because you don’t want to and find excuses?  You are one of those special assholes.  I bet money, you get mad when someone calls you out on it, because you are in fact a special person and are never in the fault.

What Could You Do, If Anything?

If faced with this situation, what would you do?

You are living in modern Germany, divorced with a daughter living with your ex.  You and your Ex do not get along and you feel like she takes every opportunity to make your life a living hell when she can.  Also she has a very hands off relationship with your daughter.  No curfew and such, she can do what she wants.  Your daughter is in her late teens and in post secondary school.  She is a good girl and never a problem.  Also very responsible.  You couldn’t of asked for a better little girl.  But there is one problem…Her boyfriend.

Your are not racist by any means, but your problem with the boyfriend is that he is Turkish.  It’s the cultural differences you have a problem with.  You would like for your daughter to be with a nice Christian young man (practicing Christian with good morals, like you, no sex before marriage).  Her boyfriend seems nice enough but he is a Turkish Muslim and your better judgment keeps you from seeing a good outcome in the relationship and you want what’s best for your daughter.  The general understanding with Turkish men in Germany is that they get local girlfriends to sow their oats before marrying a Muslim Turkish woman from home.  They have to follow tradition or risk losing their family.

So one day you have the opportunity to talk to the boyfriend.  You lock him in the car after taking him home with your daughter in the backseat.  You was giving them a ride.  You then question him.  Since you are sleeping with my daughter, I want to know what your intentions are.  Do you plan on marrying her?

You have giving the boy a chance to come correct.  He doesn’t have to say he will marry her but just make you and your daughter feel better about the whole situation.  He fails.  He start a list of reasons of what’s wrong with her.  She can’t cook and such.  He had an opportunity to show he is not like the Muslim stereotype, but instead reinforces your feared beliefs about Muslim men with their views on women.  It hurts your heart because you raised your daughter in the independent strong black woman type way.  Also you know if they wanted to marry he would have to go against his family for love and you now don’t see him doing that.  And even more you do believe they love each other.

Funny how often Romeo and Juliet manifests it’s self in our lives.  You don’t like the idea of your daughter being used to sow his oats and you tell your daughter she needs to look for someone else.  But she is in silly girl mode and that’s her boyfriend, the only one she has every had.  And from what you have seen he is a good guy.  Doesn’t hit her, never seen him do anything inappropriate.  He must be at least a decent guy for your daughter to love him and want to continue to see him.

What could you do, if anything?  You are not racist, it’s the cultural rules; not all Muslims, but Turkish Muslims.  Your daughter could never be accepted.  Your baby girl is with someone who using her temporarily whether on purpose or not.  How do you get around the idea of your daughter being used as a booty call while there in Germany, only to be tossed aside later?  She is 18 and doesn’t live with you, so you can’t enforce any rules.  The ex-wife is no help.  And God forbid she gets knocked up because he would deny the child and offer no support, maybe even move back to Turkey.

A few more details if you think I’m overstating the problem.  One, he will not bring her home or allow her to meet his family and they have been together for 5 years.  Two, I saw this first hand, he rerouted her phone calls to his phone.  He is remotely screening her calls.  Now if this ain’t the possessive Muslim stereotype???  Controlling.  She is scared to leave the city much less the country because of him. We are still trying to get her to come to the US where every guy would be tripping all over themselves to get with her.

More on Mom.  It’s not weird for her to be very hands off.  Apparently most German parents are very hands off.  While there I saw kids walking around 3-4 in the morning, there is very few crimes, and condom kiosks everywhere.  Her personality is laid back, no curfew and don’t punish.  Plus she has a new boyfriend.  Only rule is wake her when she comes home (no matter the time) so she doesn’t worry.

What Cha Looking At??? Got A Problem?!

As everyone knows I had a great time while in Germany.  But one thing I valued most was seeing what it is like outside of my home and culture.  There are many things I've picked up and want to add to my lifestyle.  And there are many things they can have to themselves.  But there were two cultural issues that I will blog about because I find them so interesting.

One thing I noticed immediately was the social differences.  For the most part here in the US we don't stare down people.  And when you get caught staring you either look away, speak, or smile.  Well I noticed they don't do that in many states in Germany.  So much that it bothered me, because of my culture I guess.  But after smiling at people staring me down only too get a cold response I needed to know what's the deal.  It's the 21st Century, I know they have seen a black person before.  So while over there me and my aunt would complain about the rudeness of the local people.  So one day at dinner we are all talking, we tell my uncle it's weird.  He says we only see it because of the racism in the US.  I would agree with that, when you are aware of the existance of racism you will notice it.  It's like buying an new car you don't notice how many people have that car until you buy it.  He doesn't think it's a big deal and we are making too much of it.  He goes on to say that German's love Americans.  But he says they don't like the Africans.  They feel like their country is small and has limited resources, then people come for these large country with resources and use theirs, whether it's jobs, land, or money for welfare and other social programs (Sounds familiar).  So in the same breath that he says racism is not a problem AND he declares that they have a problem with Africans.  Our immediate question was, how do they know we are American and not African???  I mean growing up in the States we can tell for the most part an African American Black (several generations removed from Africa) and an African Black person.  But how would they know?  They don't have 13 percent of their population Black.  Even the Ethiopians (they have a growing population there) there had to do a double take when they saw us there.  When were looking at places to visit in Germany, my uncle said we shouldn't go to Berlin.  I didn't understand why Berlin seems like a tourist city.  But he didn't go into details but he said it wouldn't be safe unless I was in a group.  Later looking up info on Germany I saw news reports and internet postings of racist attacks towards Ethiopians there.

GERMANY: Racist Attack Fuels Fear of Far Right
By Jess Smee

BERLIN, Apr 24 (IPS) - A brutal attack on a black German has left the victim fighting for his life and has reactivated fears about right-wing extremism in Germany.

Ermyas M, a 37-year-old engineer of Ethiopian descent, was attacked early on Easter morning while waiting at a tram stop in Potsdam in the eastern German state of Brandenburg. His assailants called him a "nigger", attacked him with a bottle and beat him to the ground.

The German citizen, who is married with two small children, was so badly injured he is in a coma in hospital.

Spurring headlines, political debate and protests by hundreds of Potsdam residents, the attack is a reminder of an unrelenting problem in Germany. Since reunification in 1990, more than 100 people have been killed in racist violence. Across German towns and cities, neo-Nazi groups routinely protest against foreigners.

In Potsdam, insecurity and anger prevail. "Until now we had an atmosphere here where residents, including black or coloured people, could go out at night without fear," mayor Jann Jakobs told the national daily SüddeutscheZeitung. "Now that has changed."

Not all Germans are racist or mean.  For the most the vast majority were not.  But the looks and rude dismissive attitudes were hard to over look.  But the real race ripple in Germany was with the Turks.  There is a good percentage of people from Turkey living in Germany.  And many German have a strong dislike toward poor Turks who move to Germany.  They say that the social services are so good that they can make a living having babies and getting welfare (once again, sounds familiar).

In a forum post entitled: WHY DO GERMANS HATE TURKS?

One lady writes:

I telly you why...
because they are rude, loud and disrispecting. Sissy pricks that are scared shitless by a fight 1 on 1, which explains why they always show up in packs. They are wannabe gangster that steal old ladies' purses and show it off like they just won an oscar for extraordinary achievements. Sad, innit?

They are not willing to become integrated whatsoever. It's not only turks... in general the islamic fuckers are getting on everyones nerves.

Oh, and since you do not know much about german history, I'm gonna help you out. We are not racists, we're patriots!!! lol
See? It's that easy.
If you have questions, shoot! My other lessons are not so free though

Now my cousins are mixed (African American and German) and one of them mention to me that they hate when people think they are Turkish because of their light complexion and straight hair. They are proud to be of African American descent.  My heart went out to him. They have to learn the same lesson on race that our mothers and fathers taught us here.

Blog Makeover Time

This morning I stumbled on a blog entry on the Psychology of Color in Webpages.  It talked about the effects of color and correlation between color and the audience.  The most interesting part was the meaning of the colors.

After reading all that I decided it was time for a blog makeover.  This would be the third or four major visual change to my blog since i have had it.  First, I went from a mostly black and hard to read site to a universal and easy to read style.  Now I wanted one with color that reflected the content of the blog.  So I wanted purple! lol. I know but I thought I could pull it off. The meaning of purple:

Purple is halfway between the exciting hue of red and the calming shade of blue. It creates a sense of mystery and rich appeal. Purple is also said to stimulate the imagination and creativity, and so it is often associated with innovation.

In Western lands purple may be associated with nobility, or spirituality, whereas in some Eastern lands purple is the color of mourning.

I hoped that was my blog but now I don’t think so.  I wasn’t able to come up with a good purple and manly theme.  So I then went with blue.

Blue can convey a sense of importance or universal appeal. Blue is the color of the sky, and therefore it is something that everyone can connect with in some way. In addition, blue is often associated with spirituality. Again this is because the sky is blue.

In Western culture blue may be associated with depression or sadness, but at the same time it is tied in with professional corporations and the "something blue" bride tradition.

I can work with that.  Also I need to not just change the color but evolve the site some so I finally made a Title for it.  The name of the blog was giving to me from Dan while was at Best Buy.  During meetings with management I use to ask them why we were doing something, the purpose for the most part.  Or questions of “what if?”  These were hard for them to answer because they did not always know why they were doing something only that they were told to do it and did it blindly.  So I gained a reputation as a problem maker because of the questions I asked.  Thus the title, They Hate Me Because I Ask The Hard Questions.  The boy in school raising his hand - is in reference to my time at Bowie State where I used to ask questions I knew the answer to only to argue and prove the teacher incorrect. Only happened in Computer Science, I’m not a smart person at all, just knew my programming languages.

Blog before:

Blog after:

Two Types of Followers

There are two types of followers for those that are leaders.  Those that follow with their heart and those that follow with their head.  The heart followers need to believe in you.  The head followers need to believe you.  When going to war or saving the sinking ship, confidence in you will channel the heart followers.  Charisma is the pulling trait.  But the head followers need to understand and believe in your plan.  Intelligence is the key trait.  The greatest leaders possessed both to command the greatest followers.

Gangstas Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

Last Saturday after some amazing seafood in Annapolis, I went to the movies with America’s favorite newlyweds, Chalmer and Crystal.  The closest theater on our way back to DC was Bowie; so we went there.  When we get there is a gang (slang for a lot) of little youngins.  It looked like school just let out and they all were hanging around.  My thoughts were: there are no adults out here and all these boys have on tight ass jeans.  Not a normal or baggy pair in sight.  It felt like the Twilight Zone.  I ain’t around high school kids that much and ones I do see are in VA and Mo County mostly.  I don’t think the epidemic is as bad there as in DC and PG County.  And dreads, high tops, and tight jeans is an epidemic.  They are like zombies all looking the same, just slightly different looking faces.  Ghetto smurfs- all with the same uniform just different names.  I agree with Crystal, I feel sorry for the younger girls; their pickings is slim.  I see why the lesbian option is starting younger and more frequently.

As good luck would have it, we missed the 9:00 3D showing of Final Destination by 10 minutes and had to get tickets to the 11 show.  This was cool because one of Crystal’s girlfriends decided to meet up with us.

In the lobby of the movie theater I saw a bomb ass display of DMV’s own Taraji Henson looking sexy.  But you should of seen my face when I read Tyler Parry’s name on it.  Chalmer saw my face and asked me what was wrong.  I said it’s a Tyler Perry movie, I was blown because I like Taraji Henson.  He understood.  I will save my Tyler Perry rant for another day, too tired to deal with the fan girls what will defend his bamma ass.

To past the time, we walk over to Friday’s and grab a spot at the bar.  Well, two of us do.  I’m not going to talk about the lady holding up a spot at bar waiting for a date that will never come.  Kind of felt bad for her even though I was talking about her ass like a dog for holding up that spot for 2 hours while people had to stand.  …But she had hot date, or what was suppose to be a hot date.

Friday’s was cool because they had $4 margaritas, long island, and mojitos. So you know we was getting it in.  And I had to get a sundae after smelling all the fudge from Annapolis’ Main Street.  But speaking of fudge and I don’t judge.  Two dudes came in to the bar and sat on the other side of us.  One looked like TI and the other, like a generic dark skinned bald head, big muscles dude with a tight ass polo; gym, model type.  The came in together but sat with a good size gap between them.  It was larger than one between Me and Chalmer and Crystal and her girlfriend, Kia,while we was talking.  So TI’s ordered drink comes it’s tall ass frozen strawberry something and little big man in a tight ass shirt get a glass of light purple/pink wine.  I turn to Chalmer and go, “They gay.”  At the same time Kia and Crystal are discussing the same thing in their convo and turn over to us and we all know we was talking about the same thing and bust out laughing.  But they was cool and silent.  I think they were either boys or on awkward ass date.  Because they didn’t talk to each other the whole time at the bar and then we saw them later together in line waiting to get in to see the movie.  Who had a worst night? Them or the chick that got stood up?

On the way back to the theater, we see a bunch of cop cars and kids scattered like insects talking to each other.  So we overhear that there was a fight.  Instantly, I’m upset that I missed it. LOL I had my flip cam on me too.  So we walk pass and the police got all the kids involved lined up on the curb.

Here’s my thing, the Hard Questions, how are you going to be gangster in middle of nowhere and in tight ass pants?  Look at what happened, they all got caught.  Let’s be honest, back in the day when we got in a fight, we got away and didn’t get caught by the police.  One, you don’t stick around afterwards.  But I guess because it was Bowie and no one lives in walking distance to ANYTHING.  So they might of gotten caught by waiting for their ride.  Two, even if they wanted to run from the police or the gang of boys wanting to beat yall up, they couldn’t because their pants are hanging below their ass and too tight to stretch.  The physics for running is impossible.  Gangstas don’t wear skinny jeans because you can’t do gangsta shit in skinny jeans.  That’s why loose pants, Tims, and an old easy to tear wife beater is the uniform of choice. LOL

You Playing Yourself, Ray. No You Playing Yourself, Roe!

No matter where you go, they will always see you as a n****!

A line from Sugar Hill.  A good one at that.  Right now as I am watching Sugar Hill on cable I am reminded 1. how many levels this movie works on, 2. Black early and mid 90’s movies are way better than the Tyler Perry and 50/Cam’ron/Rapper crap we got now, and 3. I need to add more purple to my wardrobe. 

The title and first line of this entry is still true to this day.  Not even a 5 days ago I was thinking along those lines.  I was in Annapolis eating with a bunch of friends and this table behind us was making a lot of noise, but it really wasn’t the whole table it was the one token black guy in the group.  He was the most animated out of the group. His friends seem to just tolerate him because they were no where near as hyped up as he was. There really wasn’t any wrong with the scene until you started to listen to what he was saying.  He was greatly opinionated with stereotypes and spoke like he was speaking for all black people using terms like us, we, and them.  He was “playing himself.”  Made several of us at our table want to go over there shake some sense into that fool because everyone in the dinner area room was noticing him.  Sugar Hill.  You playing yourself, Ray!

The story behind Sugar Hill is great.  A man tries to raise above his past and environment.  At first he tries through illegal means and then tries to go straight. Can’t Sell Dope Forever.

Released: 1993


Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Sugar Hill

Wesley Snipes, DeVaughn Nixon, O.L. Duke, Abe Vigoda, Michael Wright, Steve Harris,

Old and Cute and Please Don't Shoot!

This is a video blog I recorded at Happy Hour with Allison. Here is the Twitter qoutes: "umm, can you really be old and cute? don't you have to switch to another word?" and "This is one good ass reason for gun control! How is this allowed at a protest rally?! http://bit.ly/36NgQv" And here is Chris Matthews interviewing that clown. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/11/chris-matthews-to-town-ha_n_256952.html

Just A Word...

Relationships are dead are the feelings of most people not in seriously committed ones (married or on the way to). Statistic prove it. Jaded, they are. People push each other away with negativity. Women frequently say there are no good men left and things to that nature to comfort and to receive amen's and applause's from other jaded women. That is neither productive nor true. It's entertaining along the lines (but not close) to the fun of Nazi Germany blaming the Jews for their problems. A bit of advice, do like the guys do. We don't tell our boy that there are no good women out there, we know there are. We say our boy is too good for her, specifically. And then to proceed to list mental hang ups, crazy things she done or said, and everyone she has slept with. My favorite is mourning our boy that made the mistake of getting with a girl he was too good for. Now he can't come out to hang because taking care of other dude's kids. Can't check email or receive phone calls because she paranoid. His self esteem is crushed because she be dogging him out with her craziness. We drink to his death and laugh about it and hope he doesn't knock her up.

But there are good women and dudes out there. They just need to stay way from the ones with issues. So tell them that way.