Barber Shop Advice: Go to the Red Light District

So my Barber asked me what’s going on and I said I was going to Germany this weekend, and he goes, “Ahh, Red Light District.”  LOL the rest of the barber shop chimes in talking about how good the hookers in Europe look, how they will love me because I don’t look like them, and how much easier it was than dating. LMAO.  They went in depth about the last one. 

It would cost more to knock it down by dating here.  They was dreaming of a better world where girls would tell them how many dates before they would let you hit, then figure out the cost (for things like dinner and such) then pay up front so nobody don’t wastes time.  Have to love barber shop talk.  Everyone agreed Nevada’s Bunny Ranch was not what was up.  It cost too much for girls that not even tight.  No one was willing to spend several g’s.

Then they proceed to ask everyone where have they been and how are the girls.  When one said Brazil, convo reach a high and a low.  Love for the sexual freedom of the people.  One guy had a tale of three women bent over at once, two sisters and a cousin, all getting it in at the same time.  Another guy confirmed, yup they get it like that.

“You can bang out 5 a night.”
”Will it cost you?”
”Nah, they having fun too.  They sexually free.”

But then he got real, “You’ll wake up with your dick on the pillow beside you.  And they got the highest AIDS rate.”  Finally, he warned Becky might be a Billy.  The guys look just like girls. After few jokes that deaded the whole convo.  Barber Shop Advice: Go to the Red Light District and have a brownie in Amsterdam.

Gangstas Don’t Wear Skinny Jeans

Last Saturday after some amazing seafood in Annapolis, I went to the movies with America’s favorite newlyweds, Chalmer and Crystal.  The closest theater on our way back to DC was Bowie; so we went there.  When we get there is a gang (slang for a lot) of little youngins.  It looked like school just let out and they all were hanging around.  My thoughts were: there are no adults out here and all these boys have on tight ass jeans.  Not a normal or baggy pair in sight.  It felt like the Twilight Zone.  I ain’t around high school kids that much and ones I do see are in VA and Mo County mostly.  I don’t think the epidemic is as bad there as in DC and PG County.  And dreads, high tops, and tight jeans is an epidemic.  They are like zombies all looking the same, just slightly different looking faces.  Ghetto smurfs- all with the same uniform just different names.  I agree with Crystal, I feel sorry for the younger girls; their pickings is slim.  I see why the lesbian option is starting younger and more frequently.

As good luck would have it, we missed the 9:00 3D showing of Final Destination by 10 minutes and had to get tickets to the 11 show.  This was cool because one of Crystal’s girlfriends decided to meet up with us.

In the lobby of the movie theater I saw a bomb ass display of DMV’s own Taraji Henson looking sexy.  But you should of seen my face when I read Tyler Parry’s name on it.  Chalmer saw my face and asked me what was wrong.  I said it’s a Tyler Perry movie, I was blown because I like Taraji Henson.  He understood.  I will save my Tyler Perry rant for another day, too tired to deal with the fan girls what will defend his bamma ass.

To past the time, we walk over to Friday’s and grab a spot at the bar.  Well, two of us do.  I’m not going to talk about the lady holding up a spot at bar waiting for a date that will never come.  Kind of felt bad for her even though I was talking about her ass like a dog for holding up that spot for 2 hours while people had to stand.  …But she had hot date, or what was suppose to be a hot date.

Friday’s was cool because they had $4 margaritas, long island, and mojitos. So you know we was getting it in.  And I had to get a sundae after smelling all the fudge from Annapolis’ Main Street.  But speaking of fudge and I don’t judge.  Two dudes came in to the bar and sat on the other side of us.  One looked like TI and the other, like a generic dark skinned bald head, big muscles dude with a tight ass polo; gym, model type.  The came in together but sat with a good size gap between them.  It was larger than one between Me and Chalmer and Crystal and her girlfriend, Kia,while we was talking.  So TI’s ordered drink comes it’s tall ass frozen strawberry something and little big man in a tight ass shirt get a glass of light purple/pink wine.  I turn to Chalmer and go, “They gay.”  At the same time Kia and Crystal are discussing the same thing in their convo and turn over to us and we all know we was talking about the same thing and bust out laughing.  But they was cool and silent.  I think they were either boys or on awkward ass date.  Because they didn’t talk to each other the whole time at the bar and then we saw them later together in line waiting to get in to see the movie.  Who had a worst night? Them or the chick that got stood up?

On the way back to the theater, we see a bunch of cop cars and kids scattered like insects talking to each other.  So we overhear that there was a fight.  Instantly, I’m upset that I missed it. LOL I had my flip cam on me too.  So we walk pass and the police got all the kids involved lined up on the curb.

Here’s my thing, the Hard Questions, how are you going to be gangster in middle of nowhere and in tight ass pants?  Look at what happened, they all got caught.  Let’s be honest, back in the day when we got in a fight, we got away and didn’t get caught by the police.  One, you don’t stick around afterwards.  But I guess because it was Bowie and no one lives in walking distance to ANYTHING.  So they might of gotten caught by waiting for their ride.  Two, even if they wanted to run from the police or the gang of boys wanting to beat yall up, they couldn’t because their pants are hanging below their ass and too tight to stretch.  The physics for running is impossible.  Gangstas don’t wear skinny jeans because you can’t do gangsta shit in skinny jeans.  That’s why loose pants, Tims, and an old easy to tear wife beater is the uniform of choice. LOL

No Sleep Till - Frankfurt

It’s 11:30 AM just got in the office and I’m trying to be somewhat productive in my life and use up my milk before leaving so I don’t completely waste it. Raisin Bran.  After a week of light insomnia and hard work, I am official burnt out and if I go to sleep without turning on an alarm I will probably sleep for 2 days.  This has been the week from hell with a few highlights.

Last week, the 27th, my boss came to me with at project that needed to be completed by September 10th for a trade show in Australia.  I reminded him that I going on vacation September 5th.  Well, everyone else was on vacation or already on projects.  For those checking numbers that’s about a week to finish a two week project.

So I have been putting in long hours.  I haven’t had much time for anything else like packing, cleaning, researching Europe, or Fantasy Football.  Plus my xbox misses me.

But I work best under pressure.

You Playing Yourself, Ray. No You Playing Yourself, Roe!

No matter where you go, they will always see you as a n****!

A line from Sugar Hill.  A good one at that.  Right now as I am watching Sugar Hill on cable I am reminded 1. how many levels this movie works on, 2. Black early and mid 90’s movies are way better than the Tyler Perry and 50/Cam’ron/Rapper crap we got now, and 3. I need to add more purple to my wardrobe. 

The title and first line of this entry is still true to this day.  Not even a 5 days ago I was thinking along those lines.  I was in Annapolis eating with a bunch of friends and this table behind us was making a lot of noise, but it really wasn’t the whole table it was the one token black guy in the group.  He was the most animated out of the group. His friends seem to just tolerate him because they were no where near as hyped up as he was. There really wasn’t any wrong with the scene until you started to listen to what he was saying.  He was greatly opinionated with stereotypes and spoke like he was speaking for all black people using terms like us, we, and them.  He was “playing himself.”  Made several of us at our table want to go over there shake some sense into that fool because everyone in the dinner area room was noticing him.  Sugar Hill.  You playing yourself, Ray!

The story behind Sugar Hill is great.  A man tries to raise above his past and environment.  At first he tries through illegal means and then tries to go straight. Can’t Sell Dope Forever.

Released: 1993


Go to IMDb page

Information © IMDb.com

Sugar Hill

Wesley Snipes, DeVaughn Nixon, O.L. Duke, Abe Vigoda, Michael Wright, Steve Harris,

Help for the Blog Writers

For those blog writers that hate to use the online editors, you have other options. 
 
I introduce Microsoft Live Writer (unless you already met it…)! 
 
It’s pretty easy and slick.  And you can add plug-ins like Insert IMDb info, Amazon Book linker, or Snagit plug-in to insert screenshots directly.  Even a smiley plug-in for the “bitches.”  Because bitches love smiley faces.

The Netbook Hook Up

Anyone who follows me on Twitter knows I picked up a Netbook this week. It's the tiny 3lbs laptop for under $400. I plan on using it on my trip to Germany next week. And as a computer guy I needed to pimp the weak mini laptop to my liking. Let's be honest, for $300-$400 you are not getting a top of the line notebook, but they have their purpose and make excellent supliments when used correctly. Basically surfing the web on the go and blogging.

What attracted me to this piece of hardware? It had what I needed out of the other netbooks I looked at. Samsung N120. Bluetooth for linking with my cell phone. I can surf the web on my laptop using the internet on my phone in my pocket. SD memory card reader, for my digital camera while on vacation. I don't need to lug around a usb cable. 6 cell battery. That means up to 7 hrs of cableless power. And my flight is 8 hrs.

So to get my notebook to run at it's potential, you have to tweak it. It's like a 5 year old PC powerwise but extremely portable, the size of a slim paperback book. So I made a video of some of the things I have done to improve the performance of my netbook and optimize my productive while using it. Focus is on speed, battery life, and keeping memory usage low. Some stuff is basic like diming the light of the display and removing the battery when plugged in the wall to preserve the life of the battery. On key thing is not falling in to the trap of installing a lot software, so you will see a heavy focus on Google services because it hosted online and not my PC.

Getting it in in the Kitchen

I have been doing pretty good with my New Years Resolutions so far this year.  I haven’t been writing as much as I should be but, I have been keeping an open mind, trying new things, and learning to cook.  Couple weeks ago I went on a Borders shopping spree and bought a bunch of cook books to increase my knowledge beyond the few dishes I asked my mom to show me how to make.
Couple days ago, I made my greatest creation yet- Buffalo wings!  I was bragging to my mom that was so good I could sell them and then she ask me how much was I going to pay for the cornbread (that she cooked) I was eating at the time. smh.  Always out staged.
But what made me so proud was at I have never cooked anything like it before, I had no help, and it was not only edible but tasted amazing.  I bought some party wings and mild buffalo sauce from Shoppers.  I battered the wings up with flour and spices and then let them sit in the fridge for an hour.  After pulling them out the fridge, I put an another layer of flour before deep frying.  After deep frying I allow the chicken wings to marinate in the buffalo sauce mixed with honey and half a stick of butter.  After marinating, I placed the wings in the oven to cook bake the sauce in to the chicken. 
It was so good, sweet and spicy.  Threw some blue cheese dressing on them and I was in heaven.

Unkle Wee-am

I have always held the belief I would never have to be in the delivery room during anybody's child birth. My logic is that there are always more supportive and qualified people available than me. So I had the full intentions of being in the waiting room when I went up to the hospital to meet up with Marco, my brother, and Tasha for the birth of their little girl on this past Monday. But no such luck, I had to step up, be the good brother, and participate in the delivery of my first niece. I use the word participate loosely. For some reason the maternity ward was very busy that day. It was a very interesting experience, so I will give some of my impressions. Why did the hospital have the intern giving Tasha shots? Nothing is worst than hearing the newbie say, "I can't find your vein" before beginning to dig in the your arm with needle looking for one. And then missing. I felt so bad for Tasha. He was trying for 5 mins before his supervisor came to see what was taking so long. Now you know the Washington boys, we was on joke time, joning on the rookie. To make it worst, I couldn't understand a word that he was saying. English was like his 5th language. And the his supervisor came in fusing and English wasn't her first language either. I don't know how they understood each other? Man, they can't have intern practicing on already stressed out women. Tasha was acting tough and told the doctor she ain't want the epidural. I was quick to say if it was me, I would get it. But she wanted to be tough until them contractions got close. Change of heart ain't just a TV show. So I go get the nurse to say she changed her mind and the nurse says the doctor is in the middle of another birth but she will tell him. Later the nurse comes back and say it's going to be about an hour before the epidural, the doctor is in the middle of a C section. She checks on Tasha, she's 5 cm. I swear Tasha went from 5 cm to 10 cm in 5 mins. Halfway to walking to the bathroom, Tasha freezes. And pauses for 3 mins we get the nurse and then me and Marco carry Tasha back the bed. The baby was ready. The nurse jumps on the horn calling for the doctor and some back up. The doctor shows up on joke time. Talking about haha you wanted to be tough, too late for drugs now and something about not getting a medal. My brother thought he was funny, I was just like, man do your job. The nurse is constantly calling for help but no nurses are coming. Must be the big C section everyone is at, Tasha is wide open and the doctor yells for help, "Grab her legs." I go, "Marco, he talking to you!" LOL neither of us wanted to see it. The nurse has the left leg. Marco grabs Tasha's right leg breathing hard talking about he about to throw up, making faces. All of the sudden the doctor makes a quick movement and a ton of blood goes flying. He done cut something! And snatched the baby out. I still shutter thinking about it. I TOLD Tasha and Marco that doctor was too loose. They had a healthy baby. 20" 7 lbs 5.8 ounces (Mom said that was my weight at birth, 7 lbs 6 ounces). 10 finger, 10 toes. Full head of hair like Marco was when he was born. We all was trying to see her eyes, because Tasha has green eyes. I'm convinced that the baby has both Marco and Tasha's lips. Tasha's top and Marco's bottom. Juicy lips. Nurse said she had my nose, not sure about that, but it's ok. The process actually was pretty quick and Tasha handled it like a champ. Proud of her. I didn't take the nasty pictures she wanted, through. She wanted pictures and video of everything and I wasn't trying to see all that. Honestly, I planned on being out of the room. But that's my family and I got their back. Welcome Little Miss Sydney Ryan Washington, the new love of my life. And for those people that get pleasure out of the miracle of child birth... Not for the weak of heart. Part 1: Part 2:

Old and Cute and Please Don't Shoot!

This is a video blog I recorded at Happy Hour with Allison. Here is the Twitter qoutes: "umm, can you really be old and cute? don't you have to switch to another word?" and "This is one good ass reason for gun control! How is this allowed at a protest rally?! http://bit.ly/36NgQv" And here is Chris Matthews interviewing that clown. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/08/11/chris-matthews-to-town-ha_n_256952.html

Case of the Sundays

Sorry I haven't written in a while, but you can always go back and read the old stuff! Sunday morning, I woke up with a headache way too early. Being a beer pong athlete takes it's toll on the body. But I remember promising to make it to my church for joint worship. And yes, I take ownership of that particular church, it's mine. I don't just go to church, but I go to my church. :-D Anyway, my head was hurting and I was still tired, so I figure I would go back to sleep and hopefully feel better. Well I did try... But I the headache wasn't going anywhere. I slept all the way up to the last minute. And at that point I was faced with the free will at Adam and Eve set us up with. I could stay home, eat, and recover or I could rush to church in hunger and pain. The path of least resistance was calling me hard, I had all my excuses planned out too. But my thought at this moment is that the times that I really really don't want to do something sometimes is the times when I really should do it, especially in cases like this. Not because I made a promise, but because beyond the hunger and pain it is good for me overall. A spiritual healing sleep can t and won't provide. Even though it went an hour over time, it was an awesome service. And guess what? By the end of service my headache was gone. Still hungry, but no headache. Take it how you wanna. Fun Fact: One of the people that was baptized that day share our name. My father lean over and made a remark about it. His name is Henry Washington too, but we never met the guy. I'll talk more about free will later. ...but you might have to remind me.