Washington, D.C.'s Caribbean Carnival 2009

Saturday, 9:30 AM I was awaken by the annual music of Washington, DC's Caribbean Carnival Parade being setting up. I live a block away from the parade start. This year was different than most, because after a brief 2 hours sit down with the travel agent, I went to check out the festivities. Had a good time and tried ackee and saltfish for the first time. Here are my pictures from the event.

More Age of Conan - Level 45

Slowly climbing the experience ladder. Screenshots and video of my leveling. Screenshots are from the Sanctum of Burning Souls dungeon and random places. And also, I posted video of a quest in one of the villas, for those who wanted to see actual gameplay. Music is from Eminem's new album, the song is called 3 AM...great song.

Sanctum of Burning Souls:



I had to help this little girl...Different adventure everyday.


Sometimes the scenery is so good you have to stop and take a picture.


This is Pretty Boy Floyd, well actually Fabio. Hate this guy! He put me through some BS missions.


This is a shot for MP, him and Dom thought my toon was a Jamaican dude. Took the hat off.


Also went to the Conall’s Valley in Cimmeria (Conan's home country) to help some lower level guys.


May not get all the blood and guts of a barbarian but healers kick major booty in the Age of Conan. No standing back spamming...can get up close and personal too. Villa gameplay:


I plan to keep you up to date as I try to reach level 80.

In the Age of Conan - Pyramid of the Ancients

I tried out the computer game Age of Conan when it first came out a year ago. Played for a while but lost interest and let it go by the way side. So several weeks ago I decide to pick it back up. I wanted to do something different. So I created a new character and started from the ground up. I decided to play a priest/healer in this action based role playing game. I also I decided to make my character a female. "I shall call her Billie Dub." Long story short, I got off beginner island and started the adventure to becoming a level 80 Tempest of Set. Leveling up in my home region of Stygia (desert area, Egypt-like), I found myself having to quest in to the Pyramid of Ancients. This clown, Oracle of Derketo, has lead his followers to this place and trapped them. His followers happen to be hot topless chicks. I find out that this place is the prison of Lord Atum-Keket, who I must killed because of his handcuffing and killing of hot chicks. I take the challenge and enter the Pyramid of the Ancients. Shortly after entering I come across a lady looking for help. Her sister is missing and she ask me to find her. I know dude has her so I accept the challenge. Inside, I run in to that clown from out outside talking shit. He wasn't real, just a spirit talking shit. I find the girl's sister and she is being held against her will and ask me to free her. So I go kill the guy torturing her to get the key to free her. I faced traps, spirits, mini bosses, and talking statues to get to the chamber housing Lord Atum-Keket. Finally, I get to the chamber and guess who's there? That bamma Golddust. After couple of hurting blows, he reveals himself to really be Lord Atum-Keket. That bamma was one shotting me. It took me ten times to figure out how to stop dying. But eventually I figure out the key and I crushed the bamma.

Just A Word...

Relationships are dead are the feelings of most people not in seriously committed ones (married or on the way to). Statistic prove it. Jaded, they are. People push each other away with negativity. Women frequently say there are no good men left and things to that nature to comfort and to receive amen's and applause's from other jaded women. That is neither productive nor true. It's entertaining along the lines (but not close) to the fun of Nazi Germany blaming the Jews for their problems. A bit of advice, do like the guys do. We don't tell our boy that there are no good women out there, we know there are. We say our boy is too good for her, specifically. And then to proceed to list mental hang ups, crazy things she done or said, and everyone she has slept with. My favorite is mourning our boy that made the mistake of getting with a girl he was too good for. Now he can't come out to hang because taking care of other dude's kids. Can't check email or receive phone calls because she paranoid. His self esteem is crushed because she be dogging him out with her craziness. We drink to his death and laugh about it and hope he doesn't knock her up.

But there are good women and dudes out there. They just need to stay way from the ones with issues. So tell them that way.

Another Crazy Dream

Last night I had this crazy dream. Start off in some caves and there is a group of scientist in there. They are not safe in there and they ask me to guide them and protect them, because hostiles keep respawning up around them in the cave. So I help fight them off but every time I make a suggestion on what to do next to keep safe they say do something else. Justifying it as the smarter thing to do. They keep making snide remarks about how much smarter they are. I try to remind them that common sense and heart factor in, not just book smarts. They needed to listen to me. I get pissed and got off on the lead guy. I say I'm not stupid, I'm smarter than you think and run off a list of life accomplishments in anger. To prove my point I left them own their own. Later I came back and asked them if they still needed help and helped them again. Well, we get in to this big grand fight and my gun runs out of bullets and I have to switch to a smaller left handed gun. Well I after I fend them off in epic fashion, I go to the head scientist and I ask him for his right handed gun. I say I am better with the right handed one, let's switch. He says no he is right handed and rejects my argument that is more important for me to be in a better performance situation to defend. So I say fuck it and quit. I told them they are on there own and left them again. Well I go back in to the cave and I'm going through tunnels and come the location. There are bosses lurking in the room- MMO style. I separate the minions from the bosses and pick them off one by one. While I am fighting, another group comes in an starts fighting with bosses too. I take advantage of the distraction to clear out the room. When the room is cleared, I'm left with an evil priest, an evil business man, and a mother and her little girl, had to be 6 or 7. I'm demanding the money and treasure. I'm holding them hostage and threaten to shoot them if they don't do what I say. I ask the little girl where is the money, she says on the third floor second room on the right. I tell the mother you are going to unlock this treasure for me or I will make you watch your daughter suck my dick. wow I'm cold. As she is getting the stuff out of the wall safe and I feel threaten by one of the evil guys. So I slit his throat and stab him in the kidney with a hunting knife. Someone comments on efficient my kill was; admiring and warning the hostages. Now there seems to be a hand full of hostages, a lot more than before. I send someone to go get the money for me. They say I don't know where is. So I tell them it's upstairs third floor two doors to the right. While they are getting the money I confront the evil priest about what going on in this community, refuses to give in and repent. I lift up my gun and pull the trigger to shoot him in the throat, but it fire a BB instead of a bullet. I get upset and unload the BB gun on his throat. I becomes battered and bruised from the pellets. By now the money was back and there was whole lot of hostages. The mother asks me, what now? I say it's pretty much over, I can't leave we are surrounded. I tell the hostages that no matter what happens to me they (The Man) can not take back the money I stole. You can keep your jobs, they were mine workers that were about to be laid off because of the recession. Don't let them take the money, it's spent on yall jobs. It was nightfall by then and all the hostages, a hundred by now, are turned watching TV in the cave. I'm behind them in a lawn chair. I tell the little girl to go get the toys I gifted for her. When she goes away, I put my head in my hands between my legs in the chair and start crying. Starts off weak then turns in to an all out ball. I'm whining, "I don't want to die, I don't want to die." I knew I had to die, and it was not a choice. So I kept crying, like a child. It made everyone around sad to hear a grown man giving a real cry. Ended up on the floor by the time the little girl came back. She sit down besides me without a word and played with the toys. It calms me as my crying dies down to a whimper. Finally, I get up and get a couple of thank yous from the hostages. I say don't let them take your jobs, they can't do that. It's not right. The mother comes and gives me a hug and a kiss. Then I walk to the door of the cave to die, not looking back.

Do You Tweet?

So yesterday I was telling Travis, despite how much Twitter is growing it has a terrible retention rate after a month of usage. Then Travis (a long time user) showed me some of the stuff you can do, it was pretty cool. So I'm giving Twitter another chance, but doing it right this time. Now for the ignorant people (not in the dumbass way, but in the lack of real knowledge way), Twitter for the most part is not people giving a minute by minute account of their daily life. Actually I haven't seen one of those people [that do that] yet. Twitter is just micro-blogging. 140 character blog entries. Also the entries could be photos, video, links, or even audio (just found that out from Ashton Kutcher's). First the back story. I signed up for Twitter a while back for the same reasons I sign up for most things...to reserve my user name. lol But Twitter was weak to me. It was just status updates and I had to keep refreshing the page and shit. I just set up my cell phone to send updates, added it to my Outlook RSS reader, and then let it fall to the way side. Now after speaking to Travis, it was time to upgrade. My biggest complaint was the browser refreshing. To fix that he said I should try a Twitter client. These clients do most of the work for you and add additional features that make using Twitter easy. Travis suggested Tweetie, but that was for the Mac. So I looked at the clients my friends were using to post updates. This was easy, just look at what someone said and then there would be the phrase "via something" and that "something" would be their client. Click the link and it took me to the software homepage. I found two good ones, TweetDeck and Seesmic Desktop. Both allow you to link your Twitter and Facebook account so you get all the status updates in one place. Now this programs are all well and good, but I also wanted a simpler option. I did some more research and found a gadget for Gmail that added Twitter to my Gmail window. It's called TwitterGadget. This is a huge convince that means any browser I use for Gmail, I can also use for Twitter updates and posting. I keep Gmail open 90% of my day for emails and google chatting. Also an *Extreme Goodness Warning* for all the people that have jobs with limited internet access, like no Facebook. If you get Gmail at work, you will have Twitter too. Finally I needed a way to get the updated and more importantly post pictures from my cell phone. There is a bunch of programs for the iPhone and Blackberry. But I have a Fuze which is Windows Mobile. So I hit the forums and found one for my phone that works amazingly well. It's called PockeTwit. So now that I have all the programs that I need, what's next? Two things, follow people and micro-blog for my followers. I just posted a picture of a guy with a bald head and a struggling rat tail that I seen in Silver Spring. Twitters of Interest: CNN Breaking New (#1 on Twitter) Ashton Kutcher (#3 on Twitter after Brittney Spears) Me!! John Mayer (Twitter broke up his relationship) Erykah Badu Quest Love from the Roots Alyssa Milano Jesse Jane (porn star) Lance Armstrong Tila Tequila Travis You can find/stalk your favorite celebrity here on CelebrityTweet. By the way Celebs post pictures too. Ashton has nice ones of his wife Demi Moore in the granny panties. lol

Biggay

Until I finish my video and write up on my inauguration experience, I'm give you a peek in to my "chattiness." A cut and paste job of an email conversation of why I don't want to the new Notorious movie about the Notorious B.I.G. Please forgive the poor grammar, writing Nazis...


Will:
Did you really like the Biggie movie? It feels so wrong.

Insana:
LOL it was entertaining, and it really didn't make me roll my eyes. Did you see it? What I would have been most interested in, which was absent from the movie, was a sense of where Biggie's confidence in his music came from. He seemed like a happy-go-lucky dude, very cheesy, and then he would start rapping and he was a different person. Where did that character come from?

Will:
I haven't seen it. I'm in full protest mode of that movie. I don't see how it could be done correctly so soon and by his mother. It's not like a history channel movie or even Malcolm X for that matter. it's a fan film. I think of it like this...I wouldn't want my mother making a movie about my life, not that it would portray me in a bad light but quite the opposite. Look at the cast, Angela Basset as the mom, you know mom had a big part in that! Really, really surprised Diddy didn't play himself. Then the dialog and story. I really feel apprehensive about the quality, in regards to the writing, acting, and truthfulness compared to entertainment value. And basically, I have an opinion and feeling about BIG already, I don't want some fan movie tainting it with look- and not so much, lookalikes and their words. sorry for the rant.

Insana:
LOL you don't have to apologize about ranting! What is your opinion of Biggie now? Actually you're right, she was the biggest actor in the movie (and did a bad job, and I really like her!) But if she didn't make the movie, who would?

Will:
oliver stone or spike lee, maybe?

not your momma or master p. Tupac's momma knew better. she will never let that shit happen while she is still alive. or get a white guy, not to be wrong, like American Gangster (which had top notch stars except T.I.).

Insana:
But if one of those did it, where would they get all of their information from? The production and direction really wasn't as bad as you think (which I'm assuming you would believe would be vastly improved by directors like those) and the movie wasn't nearly as disjointed as I thought it would be (like Cadillac Records was)

[Please reply to *******@gmail.com, I'm breaking up with Yahoo Mail today]

Will:
aww what happened? the Nigerians??? they got my yahoo mail on lock. ...if I ever catch one of them I'm going beating the shit out of them.

To me it like BET doing a made for tv movie on Malcolm X instead of Spike Lee with a credible author. I hold BIG in high regards in the sense if you have to and I mean HAVE TO make a drama out of his life, you make it Oscar worthy. I rather have someone that knows nothing about BIG spend some years researching him than someone going off a tainted memory(either of love or hate) retelling his story to the world. remember the majority of the audience may not have grew up with BIG or was that much into him, that's why it's important to do it right like said a Malcolm X movie.

Insana:
I know what you mean, in fact I agree, but see the movie first! Everything I thought about him was shown on screen, and I wasn't surprised by anything at all. That being said, maybe I should have been, because I can't even remember magazine articles I read about him, or a book, or a bio or anything, so why did I already know everything? Is that even a good thing? Did I get it all from allhiphop? Were all the rumors true? Was this movie based on rumor only??

Will:
I'm way too bias to see it now, I would be critical of everything from words to look and timeline. I don't think it is so much about the facts as is the image that I have of BIG personally. Maybe if I wasn't comfortable about my personally feelings and knowledge on the man I would watch it. but it's like the George Bush movie to me, too soon, half assed, and very bias.

Insana:
Did you see that movie, W? How was it? I am critical of everything, however, I don't really have a specific outlook on Biggie's persona like you do, so I can see what you're saying, definitely. Maybe you'd appreciate the real footage of the funeral procession through Brooklyn at the end? They kinda hoked that up though.

Will:
No I didn't see W either. did more than a handful? mostly bush haters and people who wanted to hate on oliver stone and the movie. It was took soon and emotionally guided movie. emotionally in the how it was made. instead of a fluff piece I am assuming the BIG movie is, it's a hate movie, based on bitterness. Usually if I make a stand against something I don't give in, I'm stubborn like that. But also if folks came backing say the BIG movie was awesome, movie of the year, etc..etc... I would admit to prejudging and give it a chance, but I haven't heard otherwise that would have me question my initial concerns. The sad thing to me it that I don't think anyone else will now try to do a BIG movie down the line. I think 10 years from now, about 23 years from his death, some top studio and director would have taken up the project to retell his story to a generation, and they would be force to do proper research and appeal to an global audience like the Johnny Cash and Ray Charles movies. I think they ruined that chance my making a movie too soon. so I'm a little bitter about that.

I really should steal this interaction for my blog...good subject matter.

Insana:
Hey, fine with me! Maybe I should have been more eloquent about it!

Big's movie was fluff, I can say, only because I didn't learn anything new, which is something that wouldn't have occurred to me unless we had this conversation. But aren't you curious???????

Will:
uhh no not really. and didn't curiosity kill that poor cat?

Eloquent?!? whatever, you were engaging and you made me think and vocalize my thoughts and feelings. that's what counts, Katie.

eloquent and my blog don't go together, anyway, it's as awkward as couple that looks like they can be siblings dating. That's why I need an editor, plus the bad spelling, poor grammar and word usage. Plus, I only have a handful of readers anyway.

Do You Remember Me?

Do you remember me? We go back. I remember when I was the only one you knew and you was too scared to speak. Now you just don't want to speak...who knew years later you would be brand new? Do you remember me? We were buddies. I remember you calling me your best friend, now you act uncomfortable until our conversation ends. When did I become an inconvenience? Do you remember me? We were cool. I remember letting you tag along at night, now I have to pretend that don't care if I don't an invite. When did that become alright? Do you remember me? We were "cute." I remember you proudly taking my hand like I was your man, now I'm the guy you can't publicly stand. When did you become ashamed? Do you remember me? We were tight. I remember long phone calls and gay trips to the mall, now I'm just that bamma you text instead of return call. When did I lose your respect? Do you remember me? We were goosing. I remember sneaking glances and brushing shoulders, now I only get the cold shoulder. What made it chilly? Do you remember me? We were on a level. I remember you said I was someone you looked up to, now you treat my opinion like old doo doo. What caused the change? Do you remember me? We were blood. I remember fighting for you, physically and verbally, now you help those that are against me? Is loyalty only temporary? Do you remember me? Because I remember you and all the ways to hurt you too, but choose not to. When did you turn mean?

Science vs Religion

This is a rant I started before Christmas on my cell phone and never really finished and posted...and then my phone broke and it was lost. But I shall try to remember...

Several months ago, I saw on the News an atheist group was trying to purchase ad space on the Metro buses during the holiday season to promote their anti-religion message. To be honest, that's fine with me. They have that right. But the funny thing is, when interviewing the spokesman for the group he stated as a reason for the trying to share their message is "because Christmas is our holiday too." I know Christmas is greatly commercialized, but come on?! Maybe I'm too literal but doesn't the "Christ" in Christmas a huge tell? And the holiday season is set of holiday days that in close proximity - Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, and New Years. I'm not in the business of questioning white people's African heritage but that's what Kwanzaa is all about. Since he was a spokesman for atheist group I figure he is not really down with Hanukkah and Christmas really. Both both of them are historic religious holidays. No religion, no Hanukkah or Christmas...and no Holiday season - just New Years.

But this is a tell of something that urks me. People that complain about religion but don't know what they are talking about. I can respect anyone that speak intelligently about what they believe and think even if I don't agree. But if you really don't know what you are talking about...then you are a buster.

I hate it when someone complains about religion and look down on people that have religious beliefs like they are smarter than them. Frequently, they say I believe in science. Really??? Science is something you need to believe in? Let me say you can't compare apples and oranges, smart guy. It's like arguing the the Chess club in high school is better than the Track team. They don't compare. Science is a study and Religion is an institution - by definition of the words! There isn't an institution of science that's not a religion. The funny thing is that these so called smart people fail to realize is that when you compare things they need to have properties in common in order to compare them. Religions provide a set of values, beliefs, and practices based on something. I don't know of any values, beliefs, or practices in a person's life that are defined by science. And science is knowledge gained through learning and observation. I have never seen the scientific method used when practicing a religion.

The problem is that many outspoken opponents of religion do not truly understand what religion is and make the ignorant comparison to science. They don't grasp the concept of religion. Ok, I get it. You don't want to believe in something you don't have proof of. But that isn't all or the only point of religions. All religions have a multiple purposes and if you truly understand that then you understand both science and religion have purpose and point and it's not science vs religion but science and religion. THEY ARE NOT MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE.

"Bad at Being Good" - Memoirs of Will Wash

I jam the flip cam up in his face. "Hey Russ! You are on the party cam!" Playing the game, Russ holds up his beer like he was doing a beer ad and says, "Old Fuzziwig Ale, it's tasty." Then he takes a sip and then TV smiles for the camera. "That's good Fuzziwig." In return Russ asks what is the device I am pointing at him. So I make a sales pitch back in return, "This is a Flip Cam. For only one hundred and seventy dollars you too can have a camcorder that the size of a cell phone." Even after being with the company for a couple of years now and participating in several company functions this was my first time meeting my co-worker, Russ' fiancee. But isn't that the beauty of company Christmas Parties? She directly asks me, "Who are you?" It was with a straight face and almost rude but not intended to be rude. I loved it after the initial shock from the bluntness. It was a sign of strength and honesty in my eyes. I liked her immediately. I was thinking, yes, I bet Russ is her bitch at home. I wanted to make a good impression on her now. So I began to tell Russ and her about my dream of wanting to be a Wedding/Family Reunion DJ. While in the middle of explaining the oh so important duties of a DJ with animated storytelling and dramatic hand motions, I hear someone call my name. "Will!" I looked around. "Will!" It was Butterfly. That is not her real name, it's one of the many nicknames I have given her. Also the most recent and fitting in my opinion. A butterfly starts off as an ugly dirt worm and transform into an attraction flying bug. But I always imagined a butterfly still sees themselves as still as dirt worm and has trouble accepting the new beautiful transformation. She was sitting over by the pool table calling me over. I was in the middle of a conversation with Russ and his fiancee whom I am meeting for the first time. I can't just walk away, it would be rude. She's a tough lady too. "Will!" She continued calling me. So finally I respond, "Yes!?" "Come here," she says. I ask, "Is it important? What is it?" "Come here." I apologized to Russ and his fiance for having to leave abruptly. Whatever she wanted it had better be good to interrupt me like this. So I go over and ask her what's up. Says her and Sunshine wants to play the buzz game. Sunshine, of course is not her real name. Another nickname to a coworker I have given out. One day too far back to remember she came to work with her hair darken, dark makeup, and black clothing. I joked she looked evil, and have been calling her Sunshine since. I look over at the counter two feet away and see the buzz game sitting almost in Sunshine's arm reach. I ask Butterfly, "Are you serious?" She responds positive. So I ask again before I begin to throw a hissy fit. "You interrupted my story for that?! It's right there! Three feet away! Reach over and you could have it!" She says, "We wanted you to play too." I asked, "Do you realized you interrupted me and called me over for nothing. That is some real hating right there. I was in the middle of a good conversation. You could tell because I was animated and bouncy. That's some real hating, you interrupted that. I asked if it was important. What you wanted could of waited." I stormed off angry. I get back to Russ and his fiancee and apologize again for the bullshit. I ask where did I leave off and tried to continue and make the story worth dealing with the interruption. The beauty of being a Wedding/Reunion DJ is that I would hook up a mic and MC - move the crowd! Also I get to have a cool DJ name. I asked Russ and his fiance for some ideas for my DJ name. I thought they all sucked. We ended on the name DJ Dubs. "This is DJ Dubs on the one's and two's! I needed everyone to stand up because it's your duty to move that booty! I got a brand new dance for you, it's called the Kesley!" I saw Kesley come in to the room and I threw her name in. Kesley was shocked. She asked if I was talking about her. I admitted that I threw her name in there once I saw her, just to mess with her. Kes is my buddy so she plays along and suddenly we had a dance battle in the works that ends with us doing the kid and play dance. I think I ended up making a decent first impression on Russ' fiancée. Mission accomplished. The Christmas party was held at our company's President's house. He had a great setup with a pool table and an air hockey table. I tried my hand at air hockey against Marlon. I was having flashbacks to the old Boys and Girls Club days. I still had some skills. After I played around with Marlon, Travis came and challenged me. He made it clear he wanted to play me. I think it was because I was talking about how much he sucked at playing pool. He wanted some justice, which is understandable. The problem was I had just finished playing and was aware of the need to get away to leave to the next spot. I said, lets just play a quick game to ten. I scored several times on myself and lost pretty bad. It was cool, I didn't think it was that important. Thirty seconds after Travis leaves the Ingo runs laughing. He says Travis said he whooped me in air hockey. In the words of the great crackhead Whitney Houston, "Aww hell to the nah!" I ran Travis down and asked for one more game. It became about pride at that point. I couldn't let him going around bragging about beating me. We played again. I played more seriously and pulled out a couple of tricks. The game face was on. I represented well and won the game in decent fashion. Satisfied with us being tied one game apiece it was time to move on. The plan was to go the Chilli's up the street and hang out. The nice thing about Chilli's it that Dom's good friend Chris bar tends there. When we arrived there Chris was smiling behind the bar. That's was nice, greeted with a smile. But there was only three seats together open at the end of bar and there was four of us, Dom, Butterfly, Sunshine, and myself. Butterfly and Sunshine grab the two seats at the end next to each other. Dom offers me the third seat, I say, “you take it.” We do the back and forth, "no you" thing. Eventually Dom pulls up another seat at the side corner of the bar. I'm stuck with the last seat. I have an issue, I prefer not to sit next to random strange dudes if I have a choice. Sunshine politely offers to switch seats with me after seeing the look on my face. I ask for a beer and begin to space out. I was tired but not really. It was a more of a mental fatigue. While I'm spacing out staring at the rodeo on TV but not actually watching it, Sunshine who was pretty tipsy is hitting on Dom's friend the bartender. Wasn't all that interested, didn't find it amusing or entertaining so I preferred to play Martian. But at some point I looked over and I saw Dom at the end of the bar with a "what are you doing?" look on his face looking at Sunshine. So me being me, I say something to Sunshine. We have a "discussion." A "discussion" to the untrained and non listening outsider could look like a heated argument but it is really not that serious. We both made some points. I said, "That's Dom's good friend. Don't lead him on if you are not serious." Sunshine said she was only playing and it's not a big deal, she was just flirting. Which I agreed with along as he was aware of that. Because he was Dom's friend and it wouldn't be right to lead on some one's friend with no intentions of anything actually happening. While we were having our "discussion," I overhear Butterfly on my left, "Can I get your number for my friend?" Maybe I am old fashion but I don't think someone should ask for someone else's number if they do not plan on calling them. Why lead them on? To my fault, I was "discussing" a topic with a tipsy girl and faulting her with the actions of someone else, Butterfly. Who for the life me, I didn't see how it would be amusing or entertaining to ask Dom's good friend for his number to give to a friend that she knew had no intention of calling him. A funny goofy stranger, maybe that would be entertaining assuming it would boost he's ego. But Chris was Dom's friend that we frequent his bar, who we will see again. Both Dom and I shared the view of inappropriateness. But Dom and Butterfly choose to not to participate in our discussion. They avoid conflict of opinions. Sunshine and I got tired of "discussing" the subject. I saw her point and she saw mine, it was just us going back and forth to keep it going. So when done, I leaned back in my chair and said to Dom and Butterfly, "Let me tell you about my dream now." I texted Sunshine the story of my dream earlier that morning to help me remember it. For the past 10 months she has been the one I text to help me remember my dreams. Sunshine says in a Sunshine tone, "I heard it already. It was well written." I laughed; I'll take compliments when I can get them. I responded, "Thanks, I guess it was ok for just waking up and typing on a cell phone." Sunshine knowing the story I was about to tell, she started texting someone on her phone. I assumed the boyfriend since it was getting late. Hopefully keeping tabs. I turn my attention to Dom and Butterfly. I ask Butterfly if she wants to switch seats. Giving her an opportunity to move away and beside Sunshine. She said no it's ok. So I begun my story, "I dreamed I was downtown in DC at a basketball game. It was weird because when the ball would go down court the camera would follow the ball." Suddenly, Butterfly just get up and leaves. She walks away not a word or a look. I was shocked. I switched to her seat closer to Dom and whispered, "Did she just walk out on my story?" He nods. I was a little ticked by that. That was pretty rude. I was telling a story to her. So waited I for her to get back before continuing the story. I saw she walked off to the bathroom. That makes sense, we was drinking and when you have to go, you have to go. Most people say something first, but understandable. So I waited. She comes back and sits in my seat next to Sunshine since I had moved over. She turns her back on us and instantly begins a conversation with Sunshine. I try to continue with my story with Dom, but she never turned around and it kept bothering me mentally until felt like she was taunting me. I could not concentrate on what I was saying. I really felt totally disrespected. Like I wasn't good enough to listen to or the first lines of my dream was that uninteresting and not worth listening to. "What is going on here?" I asked Dom. "I don't know." First I asked Dom in a normal tone, "Are you serious?" Then I raise my voice and direct it to Butterfly, "Are you serious?! You are not listening to me. You walked out on what I was saying. You completely disregarded me." The rage had been building up by then. I don't think expecting someone listen is asking too much, considering I gave her the opportunity switch seats and not listen. So when I said something about her tuning me out, she says because I was talking about shit about Sunshine and didn't want to be part of that. Which was completely and utterly incorrect. She quoted a line I said during Sunshine’s discussion and me about Chris the Bartender. At that point I was enraged because of the accusations and using that as reason to completely tune me out when she was involved in that “discussion” in the first place. It wasn't a "discussion" involving her earlier, she refused to get involved and now she brings it backs and made it an Us verse Them issue. I yelled out so loudly the whole bar must of heard, "See that's where you fucked up! You just fucked up the timeline! You weren’t listening, I was talking about my dream and you are bringing up something from earlier that we was done with. Do you even remember what I said!" Honesty I don't remember any of the other words she said but the line, "I don't care." That resonated and echoed in my head. Those were trigger words to me. It was worst than saying fuck you, because I always care. I can take a "fuck you" but to not care is to treat someone with a lack of importance. To not care about their feeling, situations, words, or condition of a friend is fraudulent and they are really not a friend. So in an effort to not say something I would later regret, I grabbed my jacket and stormed out of the restaurant. I needed to cool off because I was beyond pissed. I went out to my car and sat in the cold of the parking lot. In my mind I felt so betrayed. Not because she didn't listen my stupid dream but because out of the coworkers in the office we where the only four left that are close and still hanged out. We are the ones that made it through the drama. I saw and complain about there being a divide between the four of us already. Butterfly and I have a great relationship, as long there isn't someone else with an opinion around. Then she chooses sides and it’s never mine. Sunshine and Butterfly was a team against Me and Dom, Omid, or whoever there was. But both Sunshine and Butterfly proclaim that the divide does not exist. But that is exactly what just happened. It was Me verses Them and I didn't know it and I didn't start it. I sat in the cold thinking. I knew by her tuning me out after an animated discussion with someone else that she voluntarily didn't involve her in she had made a decision and was not really impartial like she proclaimed. And the tack in the shoe was that Sunshine and I were cool, I thought we were ok. I didn't saying anything more about it, we was done and on another subject. But somehow in Butterfly's mind, she had the illusion that there was a conflict and I was the enemy so she walked away and tuned me out. While I sat outside, Butterfly came out. I don't think she even knew why was upset, it was beyond her. So it was for me hard for to take her words as real because they were contradictions and empty sounding. While she talked, I was thinking how she sometimes confirms and never denies the fears I had about aspects of our friendship. She had just divide us and separated us when less than an hour ago she said there wasn't. And even a week before that when Sunshine and me had a misunderstanding of vibes. I asked, "Can you remember anything I said?" She responded, "You said something about basketball and an alley." "Basketball, yes. Alley, no. You wasn't listening." Because you had already written me off, I thought. I had gone against Sunshine and therefore I was the bad guy. Who cares about the bad guy? And I recalled the number of times she has said, "I don't care" to me. It made the heart heavy. I would never say that to her or anyone I called a friend. It was cold outside. She was shivering and offering nothing but presence. I don't think she could of made it better if she wanted to, the damage was done. I offered my jacket and when she refused I started to go back inside. Momma raised me right; even pissed off I don't want her freeze to death outside. While walking back she kept saying, "You are going to think what you want to think." Funny thing is, that sounded a lot like saying I don't care. It's a cop out when you don't offer an alternative thought. Butterfly is her name but on the walk back, there was no flying in my eyes, sadly she slide like a snake. I felt like betrayed like Adam and Eve. I was told world was in color only to find out it’s actually black and white and color is a theory to keep the nuts happy. "You are going to think what you want to think." I was looking for another thought, because my thoughts were so negative. But I must have been right. If someone tells you they don't care enough, you would be a fool not to believe them even if they recant later. When words contradict what do you believe? The actions? Well the actions just finished speaking. Sides were exposed in her mind and I was on the wrong side, I needed a beer. With my thoughts suppressed, I sat back down at the bar. Dom and Sunshine was chatting it up. That made me feel better. Butterfly was looking ticked off and Sunshine notice. At that point, I was my turn not to care. Since I was told I am going to think what I want to think; I wanted to think she was upset because she thinks I'm being too sensitive because I don't bottle up when some I thought was a friend disrespects me. I don't think I am too sensitive, I think it was pride and self-respect that was tugging at me. But that didn’t matter anymore because I was given a pass to think whatever I wanted. However, truthfully, it didn't make me feel any better learning the worst about someone you thought you shared a respect level. Only to reconfirm the fear - at least while no one else is around. I was the "I understand where are coming from friend as long as I don't have to support you in public, because you are a bad guy." It was hard not ponder that if a "friend" had no part of an argument and don't know the facts or results but still choose to separate themselves from me. I figured I have a pretty bad reputation. In an effort to get beyond the whole thing because I shouldn't have been surprised. I was just let down by the fears becoming reality. So I offered to tell my dream again. After me making a big scene at the bar, maybe she would actually listen this time or at the very least I would have something to talk about while Dom and Sunshine chats it up and minimized the awkwardness. "I dreamt I was down at a basketball court in DC. We were watching the game from cars. And when the ball would go down the court the cars follow like a camera. In the car in front of me is a girl I used to go to school with. I barely knew her. Just knew the name and face. Well she called me over in to her car. And we ride through DC. We get near Military Rd and I say 'I live right over there.' We get out and start walking. Her car is remote controlled. While we walked her car was moving up ahead of us. The car ran a light by my apartment and got T-boned and lead to a 3 car pile up. We couldn't go check on the car because people would know it was her car. So we went to my apartment building. There was bunch of shady people hanging outside the building watching the police and crash scene. We try to sneak past but they are being nosey. I try to crack my door and let us slip in but one dude peeks in and sees us and the big screen TV and starts grinning. I set all the locks on the door. Then I guide her upstairs so we can see the accident and the car. My apartment turned into a 3 story loft. So we get to the top of the stairwell and she turns to me and says, 'I can't let you see my ...' There was no word in the dream. So I say, 'We can do this face to face.' And I sit down on the top of the steps. She sits down and straddles my lap. She starts grinding and then on adjacent stairwell a gang of people start walking up. A lot of people. I have this girl on my lap, I’m startled and I yell over, 'How did you get in here?!' The guy in front shows me his hand and he has a black "X" on it. Like it was made with a sharpie for reentry in to a bar. Then he says a key, door, and window. At this point, the girl on my lap bite the meat above my cheek bone. What I thought was a weird nibble turns into a sharp pain. She starts biting harder. I try to push her off and she bites harder. Then she yanks her head up and tears out a good chunk of my flesh. She must of hit an artery because blood was squirting everywhere. I wipe blood on her face in an effort to get her off of me. I couldn't stop the bleeding and start freaking out. I had to wake up to heal my face. That was my nightmare." Butterfly enjoyed the story; at least she looked like she did. I thought it was a good dream, worth listening to. Not much longer after that Dom and Sunshine turned cold. I think they wore each other out and we called it a night. I wasn't tired and couldn't sleep so when I got home I watched VH1's "Real Chance of Love." I was still bothered by what went down between Butterfly and me. I send out a couple text messages to see who was still awake. I remember Sunshine saying she wasn't tired. Sent out a text saying, "Do you think people are more truthful and honest when drunk?" Sunshine and Steph Lover was still up. Steph was brags about stuffing her face somewhere. And I start venting to Sunshine about how upset I still am. She offers some good insight, but told me I take it too personal. I disagreed, because it was completely about me, which makes it personal by definition. Which I found amusing because Sunshine complained about my stone face ruining a vibe. I joked she takes my serious face too personal and let her go to sleep. Lastly I text my friend about the gayness on "Real Chance of Love" and she co-signs and "P.S." me to stop prank calling the radio station pretending to be retarded. I laughed and went to sleep.